


I Will Find You

by Hectatess, nathyfaith



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Destiel - Freeform, M/M, Sabriel - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-09
Updated: 2017-09-05
Packaged: 2018-11-30 02:17:35
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 38
Words: 31,529
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11453892
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Hectatess/pseuds/Hectatess, https://archiveofourown.org/users/nathyfaith/pseuds/nathyfaith
Summary: Dean and Sam are plagued by weird dreams and odd memories.Why are they wearing sandals and tunics?And who are Diniël and Shamsiël?Mystery Spot happens and everything is, even more, topsy turvy than usual.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Italics are past memories or inner talking.  
> Bold is Enochian talk/language.

 

**2008, somewhere in Utah.**

When he had emptied his duffel, he found it. A double CD from some Celtic band named Clannad. He had grinned when his brother had given him the CD. It wasn't his kind of music, but he guessed the kid couldn't be blamed for trying to get him to broaden his tastes.

His brother had a laptop with a CD-player anyway, so he could try it out if he ever wanted to. The tapes were enough for the road trips they made. He didn't want to ruin his classic car by installing a modern sound system. Now they were here, in another motel, and by the looks of it, they were here to stay a bit.

He shrugged. _Why not?_ He could use the distraction while he was folding the clean laundry. His brother was on a supply run, so he couldn't make fun of him 'succumbing to other music'. He slid the second disc in the drawer. It was a compilation of several soundtracks the band had done, and a lot shorter than the original album, so if he hated it, it was just a few songs. The original album was called 'Lore'. The title made him scoff. They were always knee deep in that stuff. He could hear his brother's voice in his head:

 _"So get this.... according to the lore..."_ Dean smiled.

As the album neared the third song, Dean was softly humming along. To his surprise, he liked the soft, yet intense sound. The harp, chiming in the third song, made the hairs on the back of his neck stand up and goosebumps race over his arms. He could get used to this music. The male voice made him tilt his head. It sounded familiar. Putting down the Led Zeppelin shirt with Icarus, that Sammy somehow loved, but he didn't ( _Icarus just looked too much like a falling angel. Dean didn't do angels)_.

Dean picked up the CD case and glanced at the back. The song was called _'In a lifetime'_ and it stated who wrote it, but not who sang. Frowning a bit, Dean decided he would find out. The song ended and he pressed replay.

The lyrics... he somehow desperately wanted to hear those, pay more attention to them. After the second run, Dean went for a third, his core feeling the song somehow. He frowned, deciding to let the player go to the next song. This was starting to weird him out a bit...

The song had just started to fade out when Dean heard the rumbling of his Baby. Sam was back. With a few swift clicks and a magnificent slide of the jewel-case into his duffel, Dean made it look as if he had just been doing the laundry.

Sam's laptop just finished winding down, when he opened the door, grocery bag in his arms.

"Hey, Dean... help me out, please. I got three more bags." Dean smirked.

"Coming, Samantha." Sam gave him a beautiful bitchface and plonked the bag on the table.

"Oh! You got my laptop out already. Great! I'm dying to get some research done!" Dean rolled his eyes at his brother.

"Nerd. I packed the clean stuff in our bags already, your Icarus shirt too." They grabbed the last bags and Dean perked up, seeing the apple pie on top of his.

"Pie! Sammy, you're spoiling me!" Sam threw him a look from under his bangs.

"Can't spoil you. That stupid deal you made will make sure of that." Dean put his bag down.

"Come on, Sam... Don't be like that..." Sam just threw him his prime bitchface and stalked off to the bathroom. Dean sighed and started packing the goods away.

 


	2. Chapter 2

**1984, Ireland**

A bearded man was wandering along the windy Atlantic shore of County Donegal. It was March, but a Northern wind blew bone chilling, and the man hunched in his downy coat. There were next to no other people, and the ones there were all trying to get inside as soon as possible. That was why the  dark-haired man staring out over the ocean caught Pól's attention.

He wore an open, tan-colored trench coat, which flapped in the icy gusts of wind, over a simple office suit. The man didn't notice Pól as he came near. He seemed lost in thought and Pól  hesitated to speak to him. 

He had his hands in his pockets and his face was scrunched up against the wind. The wind carried his words to Pól, who was amazed at the deep sound, gravelly and warm. 

_ "Hard to tell, or recognize, a sign to see me through."  _ Pól heard it in the timbre of that voice. This man was lonely, grieving, and yet Pól wanted to see what the stranger with the remarkable voice would say next. 

The man sighed, ducking his head down, then he raised it again as if he heard something over the whistling winds. Squinting at the stormclouds, rolling in over the ocean, the man smiled without mirth. 

_ "Thunder... A warning sign. First the thunder, then the storm. Torn asunder, in the storm. Oh, my love. If the past it will not lie, the future you and I, get blown away in the storm. In a lifetime." _

Pól felt his heart yearn. He was a musician, and the unspoken story made him wonder. He took out the notebook and pencil he always carried, in case of inspiration struck. His memory served him well, and he jotted down the words the stranger had said, secretly hoping he could catch more. Even though his accent made him out to probably being American, the poetic phrasing was almost Irish, and Pól was entranced. 

"Diniël... I came to the Emerald Isle because there are many infants here, and I hoped you and Shamsiël would have some vestige of your true purpose left." The man pulled up the corner of his mouth bitterly. 

"And Ireland has the most people with green eyes." A black, polished shoe scuffed in the mossy ground. 

"I miss you." The gravelly voice was filled with infinite sadness, and Pól was hard pressed to stay where he was. Suddenly the man directed his gaze towards Heaven, and it looked like he was beyond angry. 

"You think you have won, Michael, but I won't give up!" Rage made the man's voice even rougher and Pól shrank back at the venom he could hear. The man spread his stance, legs apart, arms out, chin raised in defiance, as if he was expecting the lead-colored clouds to reprimand him. The wind picked up and tousled the man's dark hair, but nothing else happened.

After a minute or so of staring defiantly into the gathering storm, the man seemed to crumble and sank to his knees. 

"Diniël..." It sounded utterly broken and Pól felt his heart shatter. The man placed his hand on the ground, supporting his frame as he tried to get up again. 

"I promise you, Diniël. You and Shamsiël. No matter where you go, I will find you. If it takes a long, long time. No matter where you go, I will find you. Even if it takes a thousand years." Pól gasped and with his pencil trembling, he swiftly scribbled the pledge down. 

When he raised his head from the notebook, he produced an undignified squeak, for the man stood directly in front of him. He was almost unearthly handsome, in a rugged, dark way and Pól was mesmerized. His eyes were deep blue, as blue as the summer sky just before dusk set in, and they scrutinized him. 

"Who are you?" the man asked softly in his gravelly voice. Pól swallowed hard, to have his voice work in the first place. "P... Pól. Pól Brennan. I... I'm a musician, and your words, they just... struck a chord." 

The man let the very tip of his tongue wet his bottom lip before biting down on it. "Are you a successful musician?"

Pól shrugged. "Fairly. Our band has had a pretty successful album released last year, and we've written the theme song for a few TV-shows." 

Rubbing his pink, chapped lips, the man looked at the ground, thinking. "Very well. You may use my words." 

The man suddenly looked up at Pól again. "What's the name of your band?" 

Trying to not be intimidated by the unblinking stare, Pól cleared his throat. "Clannad." 

The man nodded again, "Good," he smiled mechanically, "Ádh mór, Pól Ó Braonáin." he said in perfect Gaelic. Pól felt his jaw drop, and he blinked. As he reopened his eyes, he immediately rubbed them. The stranger was gone. Pól turned around wildly, but not a sign of the tan trenchcoat.

* * *

**_Gaelic Glossary:_ **

"Ádh mór, Pól Ó Braonáin." 

“Good Luck, Pól Brennan.”


	3. Chapter 3

**1984, somewhere in Ohio.**

Dean was practising his aim by lobbing pebbles at empty beer cans, behind the crappy motel they were staying. He never missed. Sam was sleeping, and Dean didn't want to disturb him. He knew he could be annoyingly loud in his boredom, and he wanted his baby brother to be happy, even if it meant staying outside in the chilly March air for a while. 

One can left... Dean tossed and caught the large pebble a few times before hurling it. It hit the can with a satisfying, resounding 'CLUNK'. Dean smiled proudly, but felt a little silly, doing that with no-one to see. Suddenly he heard a gravelly voice sound out. 

_ "Diniël... I came to the Emerald Isle because there are many infants here, and I hoped you and Shamsiël would have some vestige of your true purpose left."  _ Dean looked around wildly but saw nobody.

_ "And Ireland has the most people with green eyes. I miss you." _ The voice conjured up an image in Dean's mind of pink, chapped lips and eyes of deep blue. At the same time, five-year-old Dean felt as if his heart was breaking, even worse than when that soot-covered firefighter had come over to tell them they couldn't rescue mom. 

Tears leaked down his cheeks and he found himself on his knees, whispering softly: "I miss you too." Dean was surprised how mature and gruff his own voice sounded. The torture wasn't done yet, though. The gravelly voice kept sounding in Dean's head. 

_ "I promise you, Diniël. You and Shamsiël. No matter where you go, I will find you. If it takes a long, long time. No matter where you go, I will find you. Even if it takes a thousand years." _ It felt as if his heart was simultaneously cut to ribbons, squeezed in a vice and filled with helium. Hope blossomed inexplicably in his chest and the debilitating pain ebbed off. Dean got up, stumbled into the motel room and crawled into bed. Still crying, he fell asleep, waking the next morning with no memory of the incident.

**2008, still somewhere in Utah.**

Dean slept, but he was plagued by dreams. Not bad dreams, but vivid ones. Ones that would haunt him a few days, before he could make himself forget. Sam knew his big brother had trouble sleeping, but he himself had some dreams that made him uneasy. Dean knew that, of course, but neither knew about the other knowing. So the brothers went to bed each night, wishing each other a good night, knowing they'd probably be awoken by either gasps or moans from the other sibling or their own dream.

_Dean felt as if he was flying but on his own strength. Strangely enough, he felt no fear. He swooped left and right without even a smidgen of the fear he knew he should have._ A _rching down he let himself plummet. The wind whipped around him, tousling his hair and Dean whooped with joy. Suddenly he pulled out of the dive and halted mid-air. In the shadow of a giant apple tree, he saw a figure standing. Dean's heart leaped. He came! Banking sharply towards the tree, Dean raced through the sky. The guy in the shadow stepped forward a bit, but his face remained hidden the shade of the tree's thick branches. Dean could see two amazingly blue eyes twinkled up at him. He landed, just out of the shadow._

**_"Cas!"_ ** _ he said, the joy in his heart coloring his voice. The figure reached out to him and pulled him close, wrapping Dean in his strong his arms and his... wings? _

Dean shot up in his bed. _ What the Hell?  _ Angels didn't exist. Dean was adamant about that. So why would he dream of an angel hugging him? He rubbed his hands over his face and softly moaned: "Damn it."

He quickly cast a glance at Sam, but his breathing was even and shallow.  _ 'Thank the great Gods of Rock. Sammy doesn't need to know I'm losing it.'  _ Dean thought, trying to calm his heartbeat down. His heart seemed to still think he was happy to see the angel-guy. Sighing, Dean got up and stumbled to the bathroom. Might as well take a leak and drink a glass of water.

_ Sam was sitting Indian-style on the floor, fiddling with the straps of his sandals. Somehow the fact that he was wearing Roman-style sandals didn't bother Sam.  _

**_"Shamshine... don't fidget,"_ ** _ a vaguely familiar voice said behind him and Sam grinned happily. He leaped up and turned around. _

**_"You're here!"_ ** _ he said as his heart stuttered into overdrive. In the shade outside the doorway, a man in tunic stood, his arms wide. _

**_"Would I stay away from my Shamshine? You make my heart glow, sweetheart. You're my ambrosia. My nectar. The honey on my cake."_ ** _ Sam threw himself into the waiting arms and he felt a warm head press against his chest. _

**_"You take sweet talking very literal, don't you?"_ ** _ The soft hair tickled across his neck, followed by the soft press of lips.  _

**_"You know I have a sweet tooth, Shamsiël."_ ** _ Sam kissed the soft hair. _

**_"You're so tiny. I could pick you up like a feather."_** _That earned him a slap with a golden wing._

**_"Don't you dare, you yeti! I can kick your colossal butt easily."_ ** _ Sam chuckled and he felt arms sneak up to his neck. _

**_"You're lucky I'm so fond of you."_ ** _ The hands curled into his hair and pulled his head down. Sam could just see a pair of amber-coloured eyes, before his lips were claimed by the other's. Sam groaned, surprised by the force in those hands, and the lust he felt peaking in his abdomen. _

Sam opened his eyes with a gasp.  _ 'Shit! Now I'm having gay dreams? As if visions weren't bad enough... UGH!' _ Rubbing his face and staring up at the ceiling, he could hear Dean rummaging around in the bathroom. Well, at least he wasn't the only one awake. Sam wondered why his brother was up, but he knew he would never get to hear it. He calmed his breathing, trying to will away the unfortunate situation in his boxers. If he could only forget the vaguely familiar voice and eyes, and the feel of those sweet lips on his...  _ GOOD GRIEF _ ! He turned on his side roughly, glad Dean was still in the bathroom.


	4. Chapter 4

Dean was standing at the cheap stove in the motel room, stirring in a pan with spaghetti sauce. He was completely at ease. His plaid sleeves were rolled up to the elbow and he was whistling under his breath. When he realized what he was whistling, he stopped. 

Sam was at the library, trying to scrounge up some more on the probable case he found. His laptop was standing open on the table. Dean turned the heat down on his sauce, and got his duffel. After a bit of careful rummaging, he pulled out the CD. Smirking to himself, he put the second disc in the drive and clicked play. This time, he promised himself, this time he would not play the third song again and again. He turned up the volume and went back to his cooking. 

It was just from a pot, but Dean still liked to cook. He smiled, placed his feet firmly apart and let go of his tensions. He let the music swoop over him and he felt the tell-tale tingling on his back, just on the insides of both his shoulder blades. He only got that tingling if he was truly relaxed. Dean sighed and a content smile graced his handsome face.

Dean set the bowl of spaghetti on the table and turned to get the sauce. Suddenly, as the man sang "If the past it will not lie, the future you and I, get blown away. In a lifetime,"Dean felt as if a great weight hung from his shoulders and he was falling, falling. He frantically tried to flap his wings but to no avail. He could feel them hitting things, hear the clatter of the stuff they hit, falling to the floor. He reached out, desperately yelling: "Cas!" Then all faded into darkness.

**_"I do not approve of this, Diniël."_ ** _ The stern voice made Dean cringe.  _

**_"But sir, I... we..."_ ** _ the sudden rustle of feathers as his commander turned angrily, silenced him. _

**_"No excuses! I will transfer you. Effective immediately."_ ** _ Dean's head shot up.  _

**_"What?!"_ ** _ A wry smirk. _

**_"You thought I would let you and him continue like this? Get your gear, Diniël. You're going to Gabriël's garrison."_ ** _ Dean hung his head.  _

**_"Yes, Michael."_ ** _ A flap of wings later, and Dean was alone. He sank to his knees, burying his face in his hands. _

**_"Din! Diniël! What happened?"_ ** _ Strong arms surrounded him, pulled him into a soothing embrace. _

**_"I got you, brother..."_ ** _ Dean thought about never hearing that sweet, gravelly voice again, never feeling those lips again, and he broke. All he could do was cry.  _

**_"Cas... Cas..."_ ** _ He whimpered, the arms surrounding him squeezed hard and gently started to rock him. His true younger brother trying to comfort him.  _

**_"Din... Din..."_ **

"Dean... Dean... DEAN!!! Come on dude!" Dean gasped, his green eyes flashing open. 

"S...Sammy? What happened?" Sam helped him up. The kitchen was a mess. Broken glass and china everywhere, the spaghetti was upended onto the floor, the table on its side. 

"You tell me, man. I come back to find you out cold on the floor, and the kitchen wrecked. Then, you start shaking, sobbing like you're heartbroken, muttering over and over." 

Dean leaned on the kitchen counter. He passed a hand over his face and stared at it. It was shining with tears he had just wiped off his cheeks. 

"I... I don't know, Sam. I just put the spaghetti on the table and turned to get the sauce, then it felt like I was falling, and I tried to..." his voice faded out. He couldn't tell Sam he tried to stop falling by using his wings. He didn't have those! He was a man, a healthy guy of 29, not a freaking angel. Sam looked worried. "I dunno, Sammy. I tried to stay up, but I just took everything down with me."


	5. Chapter 5

Sam frowned. "You turned to get the sauce... where was that?"

Dean ran a hand through his hair. "Geez... On the stove, I had turned off the gas, put the spaghetti in the bowl, and the bowl on the table... Why?"

Sam bit his lip. "Because, the sauce.. well... see for yourself..."

Dean turned wearily around. The pan was lying in the corner most opposite of the stove, a great big smear of sauce decorated the ceiling and wall in a clear path from the stove to where the pan was lying. From his place on the floor when he awoke, Dean reckoned it was impossible for him to have whacked it that far away. His arms just couldn't have reached it. Somewhere in the back of his mind, a little voice whispered: _'But your wings could have.'_

Dean folded in on himself. Sam was right next to him. "Dean... crap man, you're not good, not good at all. You need a doctor?"

Dean winced at the thought. "I'm good, Sammy. Just a little woozy, that's all."

Sam narrowed his eyes at him. "No, Dean. You're not good at all! Deal and dying within months aside... you've been having nightmares more and more often, and now the lack of sleep is getting to you..."

Dean glared at him. "Look who's talking. I hear you moan at night, Sammy. You're not sleeping well either." Sam blushed, muttered a curse under his breath and dropped it.

Dean threw the tomato sauce sodden rag in the garbage and sighed. All the debris, caused by his weird fainting spell, were cleared and the dizzy spells had stopped as soon as he stopped thinking about his wings, which he didn't have, thank you very much, or who this Cas person could be.

"So, Sammy, you find out anything? I'm a bit fed up just sitting here with my thumb up my ass."

Sam smirked. "Yeah. I found out some more. I think we should go there. Check it out."

Dean smiled broadly. "Well, come on then! Let's get going!" He grabbed his duffel, threw in the last of his stuff and slung it over his shoulder.

Sam shook his head. "You're just ready to go, aren’t you?"

That earned him a cocky grin. "HELLS, yeah! Pack your stuff, and let's roll!"

Dean dropped his duffel on the ground and looked around carefully. Sam was checking them out and there was not a single soul to be seen in the gathering dusk. He popped the trunk and the secret compartment. Just a check on their weaponry, like he did every time they found another case. He opened the case with the Colt and cursed. There was a bullet missing.

"Damn it, Sammy! What the hell did you do?" Frowning, he completed the check and slammed the trunk. They would talk about this... His weird dreams aside, Dean felt good. He knew the deal was unbreakable, and he sort of got to the point where, yeah, he was ok with it, kinda. He turned the key and the sweet sound of his Baby waking up made Dean smile. _'On the road again, sweetheart. Let's go and do some good before I bite it!'_

Sam slid onto the passenger seat and slammed the door. The talk could wait, Dean decided. He needed a bit of road behind him to lose the happy thrill a new hunt always brought. Plus, maybe Sam would start the talk himself...

 


	6. Chapter 6

**1987, Ireland.**

After hearing his brother talk one drunken night, about meeting a ghost of some sorts on their very own shore, Cierán Brennan was cautious. When on a snowy February night, he spotted a man wearing nothing but an open, tan trench coat and a navy blue office suit, a white button up and a blue tie, Ciéran had no doubt, it was the man his brother had spoken about. 

The snow settled in his dark hair, making him look older. 

"Well," the man spoke, in a voice, Pól had rightly described as 'gravelly'. 

"I guess it's only fitting that we meet, Cierán Ó Braonáin. After all, some of the words I gave your brother have been woven into a reasonably successful song, by you and him." Cierán gasped.

The man had his back turned the whole time. He must be a ghost! The man just scoffed and turned. Cierán felt his jaw drop a bit. He had thought Pól had been drunkenly exaggerating about the ghost, but he was indeed very handsome, and his eyes... Whoa. 

Piercing and heavenly blue. He looked so solid, so... real. Cierán wanted to touch the flapping panels of the coat, just to see if he could. 

The man stuck his hands in the pockets of his pants and lowered his head, his voice was carried through the cold wind, "I have crossed this island thrice over, and still I haven't found what I am looking for." 

That was another thing Pól had not exaggerated, the sense of loss and loneliness that shone through in that amazing voice. Looking up through thick, black lashes, the man smirked bitterly. "You might want to take out that notepad and pen you carry, just like your brother." 

Gulping, Cierán dug out said items and posed the pen, ready to start writing. "You would think a family would care, wouldn't you?" Cierán opened his mouth once or twice, not sure how to answer.

It seemed the question was rhetorical, because the man tilted his head up to the dirty gray clouds, facing the flurry full-on, and yelled out. 

"Wouldn't you think so? You don't care, do you, Michael? You self-centered ego-maniac. You promised me. You promised! We wouldn't get hurt. We would be fine..." His voice trailed off, his angry stance crumbled. 

"All the things they promise, you know they always lie." Cierán had the distinct feeling the man wasn't talking to him anymore. Quickly he wrote the last two phrases down. They sounded promising. 

A heaving sigh, wrought with anguish, escaped the chapped lips. 

"Diniël... how they wronged us, love. They took away our love, our friendship, and our faith. Well, my faith anyway. I couldn't begin to know about you since you were cast out... I've been willing and strong all along, through chilling times. In a sea of heartbreak, where you give and take. I won't give in to promises until I find something to believe in. Maybe, I can still believe in us." 

Cierán swallowed hard. This story was indeed worthy of the bards of old, as Pól had thought. He had jotted down the first three of the last four lines the stranger had said and already he could hear the words slot in with music. 

The stranger wiped one slender hand over his cheek, brushing off the tears that were starting to freeze on his handsome face. He gazed over the sea, to the west. 

"Maybe I can find you in Tir Tairngire. Diniël...Tá mo chroi istigh ionat.” The perfect pronunciation of the Gaelic surprised Cierán. 

"Tir Tairngire? But isn't that a legend?" he asked timidly. 

The man smiled warmly, even if the smile didn't quite reach his eyes. "Translate it." 

Cierán moved his mouth, translating. "The land of promise? Do you mean, America?" His voice trailed off, for now, he was talking to the empty land.

* * *

 

Glossary:

Tá mo chroi istigh ionat = My heart is within you.

 

 


	7. Chapter 7

**1987, the ass-end of nowhere, Maryland**

Dean skipped merrily over the stones that lay scattered across the brook, making a skip stone path across it. The weather was cold but dry. He had just turned eight and his Dad had taken him on a hunt. Dad was out, interviewing people, and according to his father, "a Fed doesn't have a kid in tow, Dean."

So he had some time off. He missed Sammy, of course, he did. But having not a care in the world was sweet too. Uncle Bobby would take great care of the pesky little kid with his wise-ass questions.

 _"What_ dis _do, unca Bobby? Why is grass green, unca Bobby?"_ Dean smirked.

Bobby would roll his eyes, tug on his cap and start explaining whatever Sammy wanted to know. That kid would be the smartest hunter ever...not the best, that would be his awesome, big brother. But certainly the second best. He'd be great at research.

Dean trudged through the undergrowth until he stumbled upon a kind of den, made up from a fallen over spruce which had been overgrown by ivy and all kinds of tangled bushes. Dean crawled into a space between the trunk and the mat of intertwined vines and branches. It was mossy and dark, but dry and a bit warmer than the cold February air outside. Dean lay back on the soft, springy moss, and thought how it was a better bed than the one in the motel.

Dean yawned. He knew it wasn't wise to actually sleep out here, but dozing a bit and letting his mind wander would be ok. His green eyes scanned the little den he was in, and he smiled. Life could be sweet. Sweater if there was pie in the foreseeable future, but hey, take what you can. All of a sudden he was jerked wide awake.

A gravelly voice called to him, "Diniël... how they wronged us, love... They took away our love, our friendship, and our faith. Well, my faith anyway. I couldn't begin to know about you since you were cast out... I've been willing and strong all along, through chilling times. In a sea of heartbreak, where you give and take. I won't give in to promises until I find something to believe in. Maybe, I can still believe in us."

Dean gasped. This... he had heard that voice before. A piercing sadness ripped Dean's feeling of content to shreds, and he ended up hugging his knees.

"Maybe I can find you in Tir Tairngire. Diniël...Tá mo chroi istigh ionat." Dean was astounded that his mind translated the foreign syllables effortlessly. Tir Tairngire, the land of promise. Tá mo chroi istigh ionat, my heart is within you.

Shaking his head, Dean felt a response bubble up in his chest. "Cas... Is é mo chroí neamhiomlán gan tú."

Dean felt his throat form the syllables just as effortlessly, in a voice way too gruff and masculine to be his, and his brain translated them. _Cas... my heart is incomplete without you._ The cold started to sting Dean's cheeks and when he rubbed his hand across them, it came back wet. _What the hell was going on?_

Dean crawled out of his hiding place and in a daze. He walked back to the motel, his head buzzing with questions and unsettling images of bright blue eyes. It was just after four when he got in, took a steaming hot shower and crawled into bed. When he was in the haze of almost sleeping, one thought popped up, crystal clear. The land of promise, that was the US. Cas was coming here! Dean's heart fluttered and his insides squirmed with joy. Dean snuggled into the cheap comforter and fell asleep to dreams of black wings and blue eyes. When John woke him for dinner, he was chipper and happy, but he didn't remember why.

**1987, somewhere between all realms**

Cas flew with a heavy heart. All that time, wasted once again. Diniël and Shamsiël were not on the Emerald isle. He had left the modern day bard hind, before he broke down. He was an angel. True, he'd turned his back on his commander in chief, and he had gone off the grid, but he was still an angel.

He smirked wryly. Even if the bards thought him a ghost. Oh, the ignorance of the masses. He arched and dipped his wings. Tir Tairngire... or the United States of America, was just below him.

As human tradition dictated, he would visit the Isle of Liberty first. His black shoes hit the pavement and he mingled with the tourists and fortune seekers. Sighing, he sat down on one of the benches. If Ireland had been difficult to search, the US would take decades, he feared.

Suddenly he heard a prayer. One in a voice he had thought he would never hear again. "Cas... Is é mo chroí neamhiomlán gan tú." Cas hid his face in his hands and cried.

He prayed to him! Diniël! He remembered! Desperately, Cas tried to connect to the prayer, but it was dissipating every second, as if the one praying was already forgetting he had prayed. Cas felt his hope crumble a bit, but for the first time in ages, Diniël had prayed. This was still hopeful. Vaguely, Cas wondered why on Earth Diniël would pray to him in Irish Gaelic.


	8. Chapter 8

**2008, Maine**

Dean slammed the door on the house they were squatting in, low funds and all that, and let out a hearty "That BITCH!!"

Sam just hummed his agreement and grabbed his laptop. After getting his Baby back from the impound, which had cost them next to the last of their already low funds, Dean wanted nothing more than to wring that slender British neck of Bela Talbot. He grabbed a beer and plonked down on a seat, ready for an evening of brooding, drinking beer, and watching his geek brother research.

After an hour or two, they ate some microwaved food and Sam got back on his laptop. Dean finished off the last of the beers and threw the can across the room.

"Come on, Sam. Let's get some shut eye. Fresher eyes tomorrow." Sam grunted and clicked some things. Dean heard the laptop shut down as he was crawling in the dusty old bed.

"Night, Sammy," he called, as he heard his brother enter the room. A huff, "Night, Dean." was his answer.

 _Dean was lying on his side, his arms wrapped around the familiar, lean frame he would miss so much._ **_"He just told me to pack and go, Cas."_**

 _A_ _nose_ _nuzzled the short hair in his neck._ **_"I am sure there is a logical explanation for this, Din."_ **

_Dean bit his lower lip. He hadn't told Cas everything, just that he was being transferred immediately. He knew Cas held Michael in highest regards, and he couldn't taint Cas' hero. He let his fingers trail through the raven-black feathers of the wing that curled around them. He stretched his own wing and curled that around them too, effectively hiding them in a dome of black and sandy feathers_ **.**

 **_"I find the color of your wings aesthetically pleasing, Din,"_ ** _murmured Cas._

 _Dean smiled._ **_"Yeah. I love your wings too."_ **

Dean woke with a start, and at first, he was confused why he couldn't see his sandy wing, merging with the blue-black raven-wing of Cas. Once reality did a check-in with Dean's brain, he cussed under his breath and turned over wildly, determined to go back to sleep fast.

_Sam walked past the apple tree, glad of a few days off, even if his brother was wrecked about something to do with Cas. Suddenly he heard familiar voices talking._

**_"Why did you transfer him, Michael?"_ ** _Sam frowned at the gravelly voice. Cas._

 ** _"Only for his own good, brother. Diniël is the angel who protects infants. Surely you agree that that purpose is far better served in Gabriel's garrison? Don't worry, brother. I promise no-one gets hurt, and all will be fine."_** _Sam bit his lip. On one side, he was happy. His true brother (as opposed to those thousands of angels that he had to give that title because all angels were supposed to be equal) would be joining his garrison. But on the other side, Michael was not being entirely open with Cas._

 _Their garrison was stationed on Earth. Cas and Din would very rarely be able to even see each other._ _He smiled warmly. Cas and his brother were so sweet together. Nothing untoward ever happened. Their kisses and hugs spoke only of love and devotion, unlike the ones he had been in lately. Maybe humanity was rubbing off on them, but Sam was sure they had both been lusting after one another. He should go talk to Gabriel. Maybe after that, he could get some more of those arousing kisses._

Sam opened his hazel eyes and softly moaned into his pillow. 'Not again...' He got up and stumbled to the bathroom. Looking in the mirror, he saw his pupils were blown, and his ever-changing eyes were dark green with lust. Grumbling, Sam turned on the cold tap and threw a couple of hands of water in his face. Drying his face, he glanced at the mirror again. Better. When he got back in the room, he could just see Dean turning over brusquely and he sighed softly. Another broken night for the both of them, it seemed.


	9. Chapter 9

**2008, some graveyard in Maine.**

Dean took his sawed-off with salt rounds and slammed Baby's trunk shut. "You stay close." He snapped low at Bela. She might be a pain in the behind, maybe even a murderer, but still, she didn't deserve to die, drowning on dry land. 

After the little bombshell, Gert had let slip in front of Sam, they had a fun half hour thinking of what she might have done, and to whom. Sam had found another way to gank the ghost, so when Bela turned up, they were all good to go. Good old Dad. Contingency plans all over that badass journal of his. 

Sam lit the candles and put the weird herb or root or whatever in the middle of the pentagram. When the moon suddenly disappeared behind windswept clouds and the thunder rolled, he felt the thrill of the hunt course through his veins. The sudden rain was cold and soaked them through fast. 

"Sammy, better start readin'. " Dean said, readying his gun. 

Sam opened the journal and started. "Azael, Castiël, Lemisniel, Rava..." Dean felt an excited shiver run through him at the second name, but he didn't think about it. Time to get that ghost...

**2008, New York City, Queens.**

Cas wandered around the streets of Queens, New York City when he heard another voice he thought he'd never hear again. "Azael, Castiël, Lemisniel, Rava..." 

It was a spell... why would Shamsiël ask his aid in a spell? But, if he found Shamsiël, he might find Diniël too. He looked around, but there were too many people around him to just vanish. The spell tugged at him and he darted into an empty alley. 

There he spread his wings, joyously for the first time in eons, and took off, chasing the spell and Shamsiël's voice. The storm he hit, so very close to his target, buffeted him left and right and he got disoriented. He landed on the top of a mausoleum, panting. The spell washed over him when Shamsiël finished it. 

He needed a spirit raised. Why wouldn't he do it himself? Cas closed his eyes and let the spell take over, guiding him towards the personal Heaven of a sea-captain, died somewhere in the late eighteen hundreds. He fetched him and dropped him off, right next to another spirit, which looked like a vengeful one.

The dark didn't bother Cas and he quickly looked at everyone there. A lady, with a demon's mark burning in her soul, and two men, both rather tall and their souls shining like beacons. No visible grace or true visage. The brightest soul, however, did bear a demon's mark too, whilst the other was veiled by a demon curse or... drug? 

The spirits were talking and one suddenly barged into the other. They both dissolved into a splash of water. Only Cas could see the bright, will-o-the-wisp-like souls popping up. He gathered them to him and escorted them to Heaven. Then he swiftly returned to the cemetery.

The man with the brightest soul worriedly rubbed the woman's back. 

"You ok, Bela?" Cas felt a tremor down his spine. But it couldn't be... He had a soul, he was... human! The man looked at the other. 

"C'mon, Sammy. Let's get out of here. I'm pretty fed up with this place."  _ Sammy? Could this be? _ The taller man nodded. 

"Right with you, Dean. Let's get the hell out of Dodge. Come, Bela, we'll drop you off." Cas sat down on a tomb, hard. That was definitely Shamsiël's voice... but he too had a soul. A tarnished one at that. What in the world had happened here?

Cas sat on the roof of the house he had followed the men to. The woman had come, then gone again. Now they were packing. Sam and Dean... Shamsiël and Diniël... figures they would have similar names, but souls... what, no how... He had been scouring the Earth for eons, and now he found them, at least he thought he found them, and they are human. 

He decided to see if he was right if this were really his long-lost love and his equally long lost brother. A noise below caught his attention. The men were loading bags into that black machine, their car. Cas could see why Diniël would love that thing. He loved the raven-black wings on Cas too. 

Cas smiled sweetly at the memory of how Diniël would let his fingers run over the pinions. When he heard the doors slam, one a nanosecond from the other, so close it was, to the human ear, synchronized, he looked back down. The beast started to growl and then move.

_ They were leaving?  _ Cas frowned. He had hoped to enter their dreams tonight. See what he could find out from their subconscious. Quickly he took flight, following the black car. _They would need to sleep, wouldn't they?_

 

 


	10. Chapter 10

**2008, some crappy motel between Maine and Atlantic City.**

"Sammy, I can't shake the feeling we're being followed," Dean said, throwing his duffel on the bed. 

Sam, who carefully took his laptop out of the bag before flinging it towards the other bed, looked up. "Dean, we haven't seen another vehicle in our rearview mirror for ages." 

Dean shrugged, ill at ease. "I know, but still. I got this gut feeling, Sam." 

Sam turned to him. "Look, I bet it's just the fatigue talking. You drove for almost sixteen hours, straight. Let's just get some sleep, and we'll be extra careful tomorrow, ok?" 

Dean sighed. "I guess."

_ Dean looked over at his new commander in chief, who smiled and jutted out his chin in the universal sign for 'go''. His brother stood next to the commander and smiled. _

**_"Go on, Diniël. We won't tell anyone."_ ** _ Dean spread his sandy colored wings and took off. Looking back, he saw Sam inch closer to the commander, their heads almost touching.  _

**_'Huh, go figure.'_ ** _ he thought and rushed onwards and upwards. He was going to meet with Cas on this special place that Sam somehow knew about. Very secluded and next to no-one knew about it, Sam had assured him.  He landed at the appointed place, and there stood Cas, but he was.... weird. He looked worn, troubled, and what the hell was he wearing? A trenchcoat and suit?  _

**_"Cas?"_ ** _ Dean asked, cautiously. _ **_"Hello, Dean, was it?"_ ** _ Dean shook his head.  _

**_"What?"_ ** _ Cas put his hands in the pockets of his coat. A gesture so natural, it couldn't be the first time Cas was wearing it. _

**_"Cas, what is this?"_ ** _ Cas stepped up to him, weary, on guard, and Dean didn't like it. Cas stepped right into his personal space and those suspicious, cerulean eyes caught Dean's _ .

**_"I would like to know that too. How is it that you and Shamsiël are human? I never caught any trace of your presence, or your Grace, anywhere. I have searched this planet over, and again. Nothing. Then, twenty-one years ago, I suddenly get a prayer from you. In Gaelic no less. What is going on, Diniël?"_ ** _ Cas' gravelly voice rose, pleading. Dean folded his wings around him and answered truthfully. _

**_"I don't know, Cas. I don't know."_ ** _ Cas's expression softened and he ran a finger over one of Dean's primaries. Dean shivered. That was unexpected... pleasurable. _

**_"I'm sorry, Din. I didn't want to upset you. Maybe it's better if you.."_ **

"Wake up! Dean! Wake up!" Dean shot up. 

"Wha? Whassamatter?" he garbled. 

Sam was holding his shoulders, obviously shaking him awake. "Dude, you were tossing and turning, mumbling and then you shivered... I was afraid you were getting sick."

Dean ran his hand over his face. "Huh... 'M okay, Shamsiël. Don't worry your pretty li'l head." 

Sam did a double take. "What did you just call me?" 

Dean went to lie down again, but his brother wouldn't let him. "Dean! What did you just say to me?" 

Dean frowned, displeased and very grumpy. "Samuel, what else? You annoy me, I annoy you. Big brother prerogative. Now shut up and let me sleep, damn it." 

Sam let him go, but what Dean didn't see was the unbelieving face he had. Dean just snuggled in deeper, and he was out in seconds. 

Sam whispered: "That's not what you said... What the hell is going on here?"


	11. Chapter 11

**February 2008, Broward County, Florida, Monday before that one Tuesday.**

Gabriel felt a double tremor run down his spine. "Oh, crap..."

He knew those tremors. He had them so often the last few years, it was getting annoying. On the other hand, he felt excited. If he played his cards right, he could keep his Shamshine here for a good amount of time, and maybe teach him a lesson about priorities. And, an even bigger maybe, they could get some old stuff out of the way and start over. He snapped his fingers and disappeared from view.

Sitting on a roof at the edge of town he saw a black car trundle up the road in. Oh yeah, that was them alright. That black monstrosity would always stick out like a sore thumb. He got closer and felt a stab of nostalgia when he saw the face staring out of the passenger window. Shamsiël... a glance to the driver seat confirmed Gabe's suspicions. Diniël... oh boy. He had missed those two so much, that he deliberately crossed their paths a few times. The last time, though, they had tried to kill him.

It hurt Gabe that they didn't recognize him. He had done so much for them. On the other hand, their amnesia meant he had done it well. When the guys got out of the car, at the motel, Gabriel nearly swooned. Shamsiël had filled out fine! Oh, how Gabe longed to wrap his arms around him.

**February 2008, one Tuesday in Broward County, Florida**

Sam had been certain he could find something on the disappeared professor if he got to that Mystery Spot thing, and then they'd be out of there... good god was he wrong. Today marked the 75th day there... and each day was worse. Just when he thought he had found a way to keep his brother alive, disaster struck again. One good thing about this whole mess: he finally got to sleep without the disturbing dreams. He could barely remember them by now.

"Come on, Sammy. I'm hungry. Why can't we just go to the diner?" Sam thought about it. Keeping Dean inside didn't do him much good either. The frikken taco's killed him.

Sam sighed. "Fine, we'll go get you your pig 'n a poke..."

Dean stuck his head out of the bathroom, "What was that?"

Weary, Sam shook his head. "Fine! We'll go eat."

He got a huge grin as thank you. "I'll just shave then,"

Sam jumped to his feet. "NO! No, no, no... you're fine. Let's eat."

Dean raised an eyebrow. "You ok, Sam? You seem on edge somehow."

Cas circled the town again. It shimmered in the early morning sun. He had followed the men here, but as he got to the town's perimeters, he got rebounded. Some pretty heavy magic kept him out and he was worried. He landed as close as he could, reaching out with his hand. The magic sizzled and a musty taste, like dusty books, stuck to his tongue. So, a time spell. He had his suspicions as to who this could be, but he hadn't seen him for about as long as he hadn't seen Diniël and Shamsiël. He could still remember it though.

_Cas was sitting in the municipal courtyard when he heard voices. Michael and Lucifer were bickering, again. They called it 'Archangel meetings' but it always ended up with them fighting, and Raphael and Gabriel trying to get hem to stop. Well, more Gabriel trying to do that and Raphael standing in a corner looking bored. As a personal aide to Michael, Cas had had the misfortune to have to attend a few of these 'meetings', to be available as Messenger, or errand boy, as Gabriel deprecatingly called it._

**_"I still say it is none of your damn business, Mike. Why are you so upset by it?"_**    _Lucifer could always cut to the chase._

 ** _"I'm not upset by it, Luci. I'm just trying to uphold the rules Father gave us."_ ** _Michael to a Tee. Uphold the law, don't stray from it. Cas felt his cheeks burn. His love for Diniël was wrong, according to those rules. It was putting one angel above all others._

 **_"Oh, come on guys! This is getting out of hand, again."_ ** _Gabriel, stepping in, as usual. Cas smiled. He liked the Messenger of God._

 **_"Shut up, Gabriel. This doesn't concern you."_ ** _Michael snapped._

 **_"Oh, really? Forgot who you shipped your little problem off to? Not that I mind. I like him, and he'll do just fine in my garrison, but that is not the issue here. The issue is that you felt you had to ship him anywhere. Why was that?"_ ** _Cas could hear the fourth Archangel was starting to lose patience, which was rare._

 **_"I agree, Gabe. Come on, Mikey, what's the big deal? It's like this is a first..."_ ** _The mischief in Lucifer's voice was clear and Cas hoped that Michael would be wise enough to let it slide._

 **_"It's not right. That's the issue."_ ** _Michael was getting angry too._

 **_"Mikey, you know I usually don't take sides in your squabbles with Luci, but I gotta say, I do now. I'm with Luci on this. You are overreacting. This happened plenty of times before."_ ** _Cas was wondering what they were talking about._

 **_"Oh, fine. So you're siding with Luci now. Great to know where your loyalties lie, Gabriel."_ ** _Cas winced. That was harsh._

 **_"Really? Really, Michael? You know what.. forget it. I'm done here. Hell, I'm done with the lot of you. If you can't get your heads out of your asses long enough to see how this affects all of those around you, fine, keep fighting. We'll see how Dad will react, once he finds out. Don't bother looking for me. I'm gone! Bye bitches!"_ ** _Cas sat with his knees drawn to his chest, trying to be invisible, when Gabriel stormed out into the courtyard. He slowed down at the sight of him._

 **_"Oh, Castiël. Hi. I'm so sorry you had to hear any of that. Hell, I'm sorry about everything. Give Diniël a hug from me, will you?"_ ** _With that, Gabriel spread his wings and flew off. In the background, Cas could hear Lucifer tell Michael._

 **_"Way to go, stick-in-the-mud. I hope he comes back."_ ** _Lucifer growled._

 


	12. Chapter 12

**February 2008, Wednesday, Broward County, Florida**

The sound of the car's engine revving shook Cas from his memory. He could see Sam driving off, but where was Dean? Worried, Cas looked back at the town. The magic had gone and Cas roamed the town, looking for that bright soul with the mark on it. Nothing. Fear clutched his heart and he landed. Asking around, he ended up in the diner. 

"Oh, that handsome guy, with the amazing green eyes ?" the waitress asked, sighing. 

"I'm sorry, sir. I wish I wouldn't have to tell you this... but..." she blinked, eyes filled with sympathy, "He... he... he has passed away. Got shot, when he was loading up his car. His brother just left town." 

Cas sat down on the stool at the bar. This couldn't be! _ 'Diniël... I'm sorry... I'm so, so sorry. I'll look after your brother, I promise!' _ A hand landed on his shoulder and he stared at it. 

"I'm sorry, hon. Was he special to you?" Silently, Cas nodded. 

"I'm sure his brother will be in touch for the details."Cas quirked up the corner of his mouth in a smile he didn't feel in his heart. 

"Thank you. I... I have to go. Thank you again." He walked outside and as soon as he could, he took wing. He had to find Shamsiël. He had to protect him.

**Months later, some warehouse.**

Sam looked at the Trickster, his insides cold with hate, and his eyes brimming with unshed tears. 

"Lesson? What lesson?" The Trickster stepped up. 

"This obsession to save Dean. The fact that you two keep sacrificing yourselves for each other. Nothing good comes out of it. Just blood and pain. Dean's your weakness. The bad guys know it too. He's gonna be the death of you, Sam." Somehow, the hate had dissipated during the speech the Trickster was giving. Sam just wanted Dean back, and this guy knew how. 

"Please... just..." His eyes stung, tears threatening to spill over. The face of the Trickster blurred, but Sam could see him frown, and he thought he had his attention now. 

"Please." The Trickster hung his head. "I swear, it's like talking to a brick wall." Sam was good at reading people and this guy... it seemed like he was fed up. 

"You're Travis Bickle in a skirt, pal. I'm over it." Why did those words sting? 

"Meaning what?" The man smirked at him, but in his eyes, there was pain shimmering. 

"Meaning, Shamshine, that's for me to..." Sam tilted his head.

"What was that? What did you call me?" The Trickster's golden eyes widened. "Crap..." Sam grabbed him by the coat. 

"What. Did you. Call me?" Sam saw his Adam's apple bob. 

"Sammy... come on." Sam pushed the guy against the wall. "Talk to me, or I swear to God, why did you call me Shamshine?"


	13. Chapter 13

Gabriel had watched Sam hunt him, watched him become obsessed. And now, now he was staring into those beautiful eyes as they filled with tears. Tears he, Gabriel, was responsible for.  _ Why the hell had that dumbass Din made a deal in the first place?  _

Oh, right... to get Sham back from the dead. 

Damn demons took them off Gabe's radar somehow. When they had left Heaven, Gabriel vowed to them that he would keep them safe, and for eons, he did. Finding them a new life every century or so. They'd grow from a zygote to a strapping human, then die from old age, in a fight, or from the Plague, or, more often than not, they would sacrifice themselves for the other, and every time Gabriel would be the one to intercept their soul/Grace before it hit home and start the cycle again. 

Sometimes, during epidemics or wars, Gabriel would keep the Grace around for a bit until the most imminent danger had gone. This time though, that stupid ass mother of theirs had made a deal with Azazel, before Gabriel even knew she would be their mom this time. That threw a wrench in the works since the demon blood had cloaked Shamsiël. Gabriel had trouble determining if and when he was in trouble. And then they had become hunters, and danger flares got set off so often, Gabe had trouble distinguishing the real threats.

The devastated look in his Shamshine's eyes shattered Gabriel's heart though. He tried. He tried to drive the lesson home, for this life and the next ones, but all Shamsiël wanted was his brother back. Then he spoke. 

"Please... just... Please." And he crushed Gabriel. Hanging his head to try and compose himself, Gabriel resorted to sarcasm to hide the cracks in his heart. If only he had paid more attention to his mouth. It had the nasty habit of running free when his heart and mind were in turmoil. He just let the old nickname slip, and Sam caught it. The pressure with which the hunter was pushing him against the wall, was nothing. 

As an Archangel, Gabe could break it easily, but the fact that Sam reacted at all was disturbing. "Well.... this is awkward." 

The tall man applied more pressure, but not enough to actually hurt, even if Gabe had been human. He knew his strength well. "Quit stalling, Trickster. Tell me everything." 

Gabe sighed and snapped his fingers, relocating them to a cozy apartment. "There. Better make sure we're at ease if we're going to do this." 

Sitting in a lounge chair opposite Gabe's, Sam stared. "Do what, exactly?" Gabriel smiled at him, his golden eyes twinkling. "Trips down memory lane. So, how much do you recall?" The large man shuffled his feet. "Come on, big guy! You reacted to a very specific word. Why?"

A blush crept up Sam's face. "You'll think me crazy." 

Despite himself, Gabriel patted the big guy's knee. Sam glanced up, his eyes wide, blush intensifying. "I'm the Trickster, Sam. I have seen so, so much crazy stuff, maybe too much." 

Sam sighed, and the expanding chest had Gabriel licking his chops, mentally. "It... it's a nickname I heard in my dreams..." Ducking his head, Sam tried to hide his flaming red cheeks. "It was mine... given by my lover." 

That knocked the wind out of Gabriel. "You... dreamt that?" he choked. 

Silent, almost reluctant, Sam nodded. 

"Well crap... that's just peachy. Anything else?" Sam licked his lips, making Gabriel cross his legs. 

"Just the hot kissing..." Sam whispered. Before he realized he was moving, Gabriel landed on his knees in front of Sam. 

"S-Sam... look at me," Sam lifted his head slowly and their eyes locked. Hazel meeting gold.


	14. Chapter 14

Sam's head spun as he gazed into the golden eyes before him. "You..." he gasped. "It was you." 

The Trickster smiled ruefully. "Sorry, Shamshine..." 

Sam grabbed his face and pulled him in, their mouths smashing together. It was needy, rough and wet, and lust burned in Sam's veins. Gasping he broke free. 

"Shamsiël..." the other man sighed, his eyes hooded. Sam looked at the face, now even more familiar, as if things were suddenly clearer. 

"Gabe... Gabriel... oh god, Gabe!" Sam breathed and he pressed his lips to the kiss-swollen ones in front of him. Gabriel moaned and his hands ran through Sam's hair. Sam let his own hands run over Gabe's back and pulled him closer. He let himself fall to his knees, so they would be even closer together. 

Gabriel pushed against Sam's chest. "Shamsiël, I need to know... how much do you remember, love." Breathing heavily, Sam let go. 

"Gabe... I..." He licked his lips, relishing the cinnamon and sugar taste left by Gabriel. "God, I need to think..." In his mind, he reviewed all the dreams he could remember.

"I remember dreaming about overhearing a discussion between.... Michael? And... Cas?" Sam looked at Gabriel and he saw the frown. 

"Ok. What was that about?" Gabriel asked, his eyes more serious than Sam was used to. 

"Ehm... this Cas... I got the feeling I knew him well, liked him too. Anyway, Cas, he asked why Michael had transfered someone, and Michael answered that he would serve his purpose better in that garrison.... your garrison. No... Our garrison." 

He looked over to Gabriel, who was still kneeling in front of him. The archangel nodded silently and Sam continued.

"I knew they were talking about my brother, and I was in two minds about it. I loved that we would serve together, but I hated that this would break up Cas and... Din? Dean? Gabe... what?" Gabriel planted a chaste kiss on his forehead. 

"Details later, my honeybear. Just the rough draft now, please." A warm glow spread through Sam, and he agreed. 

"Michael told Cas that all would be fine and that no-one would get hurt. I felt he was being less than frank, because we were stationed here, and my brother wouldn't be able to see Cas, unless they both had a day off. Somehow I knew Michael would try and prevent that." Gabriel looked like he was sucking a lemon. 

"You know it, bucko. Anything else?"

Sam smiled and pulled him closer. "Just that you already had that sweet tooth then, and that no-one ever kissed me like you." 

Gabriel's golden eyes turned amber and he cupped Sam's cheek. "Careful, Shamsiël... sweet talking like that gives me a sugarhigh." Sam licked his lips. 

"Good..." he breathed before claiming Gabe's lips in a long kiss. Gabriel let his hands wander to the back of the hunter's neck and weaved his fingers in the shoulder length hair. Sam licked across the shorter man's lips and with a sigh, Gabriel opened them. Sam curled his fingers in the caramel-coloured curls in Gabriel's neck, while his tongue swirled around Gabe's. Sam moaned at the slight cinnamon and sugar flavor he tasted and he pulled them to the floor, making sure he was on the bottom. 

Gabriel sucked on Sam's tongue and they both groaned. Gabe let his hands wander over Sam's chest and Sam gasped in his mouth when he grazed a nipple. 

"Still so sensitive, Shammy?" Gabe asked, his lips still on Sam's. Sam grunted and pulled those lips tighter to his, nipping the lower lip softly. Gabe moaned and licked into Sam's mouth, making Sam feel as if fire was running through his veins. Gabriel pulled back, causing Sam to whine. 

"You're human, Shamshine. You need oxygen." Panting, Sam stared up into those amazing eyes. 

"Gabe... how could I forget you?" Gabriel blinked and sadness suddenly filled his eyes. He sat up and rolled off Sam. He hugged his knees to his chest and quietly looked away. When he spoke, his voice was so soft, Sam could barely hear it. "Because I arranged it so."


	15. Chapter 15

Sam struggled to sit up. "What? Gabriel, what are you talking about?"

Still not looking at Sam, Gabriel asked: "Do you remember what kind of garrison we were in?"

Sam ran his thumb over his lower lip. "Not really. I remember sandals and tunics, so... Greek, Roman?" Gabriel scoffed.

"Close, but no lollypop. Any other details?" Sam raked his brain. He remembered the sweet-talking, the kisses, the teasing banter, the golden wing clipping his...

"Holy Hell!" Sam gasped, his eyes widening. That earned him a wry smirk.

"Try the other team, bucko." Sam tried to swallow through a dry throat.

"A-angels? We were frikken angels?" Gabriel sighed.

"Technically, I still am..." Sam ran his hands through his hair.

"Gabriel... you... you're an Archangel?" half a smile this time.

"Bingo! And you were the 'Light of Day.' Shamsiël, whom everyone loved, even Lucifer." A finger slid over his upper arm.

"Hell, I bet the last big fight between Mike and Luci was about you." Gabriel looked thoughtful.

"I should ask." Sam bit his lip. He never liked to be admired, and this made him very self-conscious.

"Lucifer... the Morningstar. The Archangel. The guy that got booted to Hell for disobeying God. He liked me?"

Gabriel caught Sam's eyes with his golden ones and he smiled warmly. "You're a lovable person, Shamshine, deal with it."

Sam blushed happily and smiled. "In fact, I think old Luci might have had his eye on you. He sure pouted when you were assigned to me." Gabriel snuggled against Sam's wide chest, and Sam wrapped his arms around him. "His loss, my gain."

Sam stroked the soft curls that tickled his chin. Gabe sighed. "You know, I miss your wings, cupcake. They were like a Golden Eagle's."

Sam looked down at him. "Wings? Really?"

Gabe kissed him. "Of course, honeybear. What angel doesn't have wings?"

Sam frowned. "Gabe, what happened to me. Why am I human? And why did you mess with my memories?" Gabriel sighed, snuggling deeper into Sam's embrace.

"I blame Mike. He transferred your brother, Diniël, to us, because, this is my theory and I stand by it, he was jealous." Sam frowned in surprise.

"Jealous?" Gabe nodded.

"Yup. I think Mikey had a little crush on innocent little Din. Diniël, oblivious, just treated Mike as his garrison commander in chief, which he was. Din got to know Cas better and better because Mike kept calling him into his office, where Cas would always be since he was Michael's personal aide."

Nodding, Sam interjected. "I remember thinking that Cas and Diniël were so sweet together. So loving and devoted. Not like us, we were, heh, a bit more human in our doings."

That earned him a tap to the chest. "You betcha, lollypop. We were way more human. Anyway, someone blabbed to Mike, and he pulled out all the stops to separate them."

"Like transferring him to us." Sam frowned.

"Yep. But I knew about them, and I would have Din run errands upstairs, so they could meet. That turned sour, of course. Michael ran into Din after a make-out session with Cassie. Michael was livid. He yelled and kicked Diniël out. Literally. Not to Hell, thank Dad, but to Earth. To be human. Once you found out, you just had to follow him. Nothing could change your mind."

Sam hugged him tighter, surreptitiously breathing in the slight cotton candy smell that always surrounded Gabriel. "That must have been Hell for you."

Gabriel smiled and rubbed Sam's thigh absentmindedly. "Not really, sugarplum. I anticipated it. As soon as I got intelligence that Michael was flipping his lid to Diniël, I prepared. When Mike threw Din out, I intercepted him on his way down, knocked him out, kept him safe. I just knew, with me hiding like I was, you had nothing to keep you in Heaven's service."

Sam lifted Gabriel's chin with one finger. "Hiding? What? Why were you hiding?"


	16. Chapter 16

Gabriel pressed a kiss to Sam's fingers. "I had run out of an Archangel meeting because I was so sick of the bickering between Mike and Luci, sick of Michael's jealous streak and because I was afraid that Michael's actions would mean we were going to have to stop seeing each other.”

Gabriel played with Sam’s fingers while he continued his tale, “I couldn't do that. So I cloaked my grace and hid, right here on Earth. I knew shit would hit the fan soon, and it did. Anywho, when you took the plunge, I scooped you up too. I cloaked both your graces and found a human lady, who could carry you. Unlike true fallen angels, you two still had your grace, but it was disguised as a soul. I kept tabs on you two, so when one or both of you died, I picked up your 'soul' before it hit Heaven. That way I kept you safe for eons."

Sam's eyes stung. If he hadn't believed it before, he now knew Gabriel loved him more than life. "But how did you survive?" he asked, curious.

Gabriel chuckled. "I reinvented myself."

Confused Sam blinked. "What?"

Gabriel turned to face him and held out his hand. "Loki, Norse God of Mischief, at your service."

Befuddled, Sam took the hand in his. "Oh, and also Anansi, Kanchil, the Monkey King, Brer Rabbit and Reynard the Fox. Any and all Trickster stories are based on me. It's not a Trickster, but _the_ Trickster."

Sam looked impressed. "So, you spun a web of tales and legends and wrapped yourself in it. Kept off Heaven's radar."

Gabe nodded and crawled back against the broad chest. "Only thing I hadn't taken into account, was what all the recycling did to you two. Your grace evolved, changed. Now it isn't grace, yet it isn't a soul either. I'm not sure what will happen if and when I uncloak it."

Sam bit his lip. Uncertainty in the supernatural was not good. "Couldn’t you, like, uncloak it bit by bit? Not all in one go. See what happens each time."

Pensieve, Gabriel nodded. "Might be worth a shot." He turned to face Sam once again.

"But first things first. I have been talking for ages. I need some sugar." Sam smiled widely.

"Really? Hm. But I don't want to let go of you... That could pose a problem, couldn't it?" Gabriel grinned and waggled his eyebrows.

"Mmmmm-maybe." he quipped.

Sam chuckled and pulled the angel in for a kiss. Gabriel reacted immediately and tugged Sam's head down. Their lips met and Gabe moaned, making lustful spikes drive through Sam. Sam deepened the kiss and slid his tongue over Gabriel's lips. Gabriel granted him access and Sam felt the moan on his tongue this time. The need to breathe had Sam's lungs aching and gasping he pulled away.

"Mmmmm. Daddy likes this sugar." Gabriel growled, making Sam break out in goosebumps. He lay back down, pulling Gabriel with him.

"Well, let's satisfy your sweet tooth then, Gabe." Gabriel's grin was predatory as he bent down to kiss Sam on the neck. With a trembling sigh, Sam bent his head back to bare his neck. Gabriel licked it along Sam's jaw and nibbled on his earlobe.

"Gabe..." Sam panted.

"I know, Shamshine. I need you too." At that, Sam swallowed hard and closed his eyes.

"Please, Gabriel, you're killing me." A soft chuckle in his ear.

"Can't have that, can we? I should check your vitals..." A sneaky hand slid under Sam's black undershirt and over the skin of his chest. It stopped over his heart and Sam breathed shakily. He could feel Gabriel grin against his neck and he swallowed. A slight movement of the fingers and Sam arched his back off the carpet.

Gabriel had simply slid one finger over Sam's nipple and arrows of pleasure had shot through the hunter. Gabriel hummed against his neck.

"That seems in order... onward, my sweet." He placed soft kisses in Sam's neck and Sam had trouble breathing.

"Mmmm. A bit short of breath, it seems, Sham. I can remedy that." Gabriel purred and he sucked down on Sam's pulse-point. Sam gasped and bucked his hips.

"G...Gabe..." he groaned.

"Mmmm, yes light of my days?" Sam took him by the upper arms and pushed him off a bit.

"I...I... I've never... Not with.." Gabriel looked at him, his eyes amber and his smile loving.

"Me neither. I never wanted another man. Just you." At that, Sam felt his heart grow two sizes and a tear slipped from the corner of his eye.


	17. Chapter 17

Gabriel kissed the salty drop away. "Let's save that for later then, sugarplum. Kissing is just fine by me. We never did go any further than just EPIC making out." 

Sam chuckled. "You are something else, aren't you?" Gabriel placed a chaste kiss on Sam's mouth. 

"One of a kind, Samshine. Come on. I think we should visit someone. He might be able to give us a few answers at least." Sam watched as Gabriel got up, and he chuckled. 

"Maybe we should freshen up a bit, angel. You look like you've been having a lot of fun. And I imagine, my looks are quite similar." Gabriel looked back at him and grinned like a bobcat. 

"I  like that look on you, honeybear, but you're right. Better not poke the bear." He snapped his fingers and Sam felt something tingle through his body. 

"There. All good. Come, hold on tight. This trip is not for the faint-hearted." He pulled Sam up and into his waiting arms. 

"Gabe, I love you, but what about Dean?" Sam felt a little ashamed that he had let Dean slip his mind like that. 

Gabriel kissed his nose. "Don't fret, my shining beacon of affection. I will zap the world back to that Wednesday after this. Dear old Dean-o will be just fine." 

Sam smiled. "I trust you, Gabe." Another loving peck, this one to his lips. 

"Wonderful. Let's go," and the world vanished in a swirl of sound and color.

Sam felt his feet his solid ground and he opened his eyes. "God, Gabriel. You weren't kidding about not being for the feint hearted." 

A dry chuckle. "Told ya. Now, be nice and greet our host for today." 

Sam turned around and tilted his head. They were in a nice room. A bit minimalistic, but comfy. In one of the lazy chairs sat a lanky man with spiky short, blonde hair and light blue eyes. He noticed them and languidly got up. 

"Well, well. Gabriel, as I live and, well, not breathe, but you get the picture. What drags your yellow ass in here?" He noticed Sam and his already disdainful look got sour. 

"And you brought a human? Ballsy. You know how I feel--" 

Gabriel squared his shoulders. "Luci, long time no see. I gather you haven't changed much." 

Sam bit back a gasp. Luci? As in Lucifer? He swallowed hard. 

"This is a very special human. We got some questions, and we would like some answers." 

Lucifer scoffed. "Special human? Must be if it got you out of hiding." 

He looked Sam up and down. "Hm. I can see his soul, but it's tainted... not by actions, but..." Gabriel cleared his throat. 

"Yeah. Nice. Look, Luci, first I wanna know: what was your final fight about. I know Mike was being irrational, but kicking you out... bit harsh." Lucifer gestured at them to sit on the plump white couch that hadn't been there before.

He returned to his own chair. "Sorry. Haven't had the opportunity to entertain guests, so I had to create some space. But in answer to your question: What else? His insane task to rule out feelings among angels. He went overboard with that thing with Diniël. So many of us were angry about that, that we tried to get him to relinquish some of his power." 

Sam bit his lip. "Why were you all angry? I mean, according to the rules it was wrong to love one angel more than others." 

Lucifer raised an eyebrow. "Hark, it talks. And the answer to that, my dear ape, is that it was only after Mike had his own bit of infatuation, that he got on that high horse. Only because it wasn't reciprocated, and the other angel dared to love another. To the point of devotion even." 

Biting down on his lip harder, Sam nodded. So, Gabriel's theory rang true. 

"Yes, we were all pretty pissed at dear old Mike. A lot of us liked Diniël and his Fate was uncalled for. Even worse. His true brother, meaning they hatched from the same breed, decided that he would share Diniël's Fate." Lucifer sighed. 

"Ah. Shamsiël... as beloved as Diniël. Maybe even more. Such a shame they had to die like mud monkeys." 

Sam looked at Gabriel, who shook his head slightly. "Anyway, Gabriel, you running away was just the beginning. A lot of angels were sick and tired of Michael and his little temper tantrum. So we told him to let go of it. He punished Diniël harshly and unjustly, and in doing so, he hurt Cas too. Poor little Cassie, he lost his love and his Hero in one egotistical tantrum. I have been out of touch, but I heard he left Heaven, on a quest to find the brothers. A fool's errand, if you ask me. They're long dead by now."


	18. Chapter 18

Sam sighed. Intimidated as he was by Lucifer, he had questions, and Gabe only knew a few of them. "Hero? Did this Cas worship Diniël that much?"

A sarcastic twitch to the corner of Lucifer's mouth. "No. Michael. The little Seraph was his personal aide, and he thought Mike was a great leader. So when the great and just Michael acted unjustly and punished Cas and Din in one fell swoop, Cas lost all he loved. And I think his mind too." 

Gabriel pouted his lips at that. "Not so sure about that one, brother. But back to business. The great fight  wasn't about you refusing to love humans above Dad?" Lucifer scoffed. 

"Of course not. I refused to love equally. I didn't want to love any anonymous cherub number three thousand as much as I loved you, or Shamsiël. I thought it was unfair to demand that we would deny ourselves love like Din and Cas had. If Shamsiël hadn't chosen to fall, I'd have taken a shot at him myself.” Sam saw Gabriel narrow his eyes. Not knowing why he did it, Sam spoke in his mind, hoping Gabriel could hear him.  _ 'Gabe... don't. You said it yourself that you thought he had his eye on me.' _ Gabriel shot him a glance and quirked a tiny smile.

Reassured, Sam lobbed in the next question he had. "Why didn't your Father intervene? If love like Cas and Diniël's was wrong, he wouldn't have made it possible. At least, I think he wouldn't." 

Lucifer cocked his head. "Smart little monkey you have there, Gabriel. Our Dad, human, had left the building ages ago. After hatching the last batch of angels, including three of the main characters in this little drama, he just upped and left. Diniël, Shamsiël and Castiël never even saw our Father." 

Sam's eyes widened at the last name, but he held his tongue and took in his surroundings instead. 

This caught the attention of Lucifer. "Odd 'cage', isn't it? But even a golden cage is still a cage. I can't get out, try as I may. Unlike Gabriel here, who can come and go as he pleases." 

Gabriel leveled him a stare. "I was in  hiding , Luci. If I were to pop in for monthly visits, people might notice, right?" Again the other Archangel scoffed. 

"Who? The demons? Those Hamiamma are too stupid to notice anything." Sam didn't like the sound of that word. "The what now? Hammeh... hammah..." 

An appreciative tilt of Lucifer's head. "Hah-meh-ah-mah-mah." he spelled out. "Enochian words are a bit complicated for your kind, human, but I will humor you. It means 'cursed creatures'." 

Sam frowned. "I thought you created them. Why are you being so hard on them?" Lucifer chuckled and leaned back in his chair with a smile. "Ohohooo. I really like this monkey of yours, Gabriel. It's almost like having Shamsiël back to banter with... Hm... Our micaelazodo olapireta. Never too afraid of us Archangels to talk back." 

He winked at Sam. "Mee-kah-la-zod-oh Oh-lah-pier-ehta. Mighty Light. Shamsiël was the 'Light of Day'. A micaelazodo olapireta indeed. He could light up a room with his smile."

Gabriel cleared his throat and stood. "Right. Well, fun as this was, I'm out of questions for you, Luci. You?" He turned to Sam, his stance hinting that he wanted to go, like yesterday. 

Sam blinked and scrambled to his feet. "No.. no more questions. Thank you, Lucifer, for answering." Another appreciative look, as Lucifer got up. 

"Polite too, you really remind me of Shamsiël. Well, don't be strangers. Pop in again in a millennium or so." 

Sam bit back a smile. The sarcastic humor of the Morningstar was something he could appreciate. Gabriel smirked at his brother and pulled him into a hug. 

"Will do, Luci. Though we might be here sooner. Come, Sam." Lucifer's head swiveled around to him. "Sam? Not... Sam Winchester?" Taken aback Sam nodded. 

"Yes. Why?" Gabriel looked alarmed too. "Well, my dear boy, I know  you were Azazel's favorite... and consequently mine." He let his blue eyes rake over Sam's form and his smile was hungry. 

Gabriel frowned and grabbed Sam by the arm. "I don't know what you had planned for Sam here, but he is under  my protection now. Back. Off." 

Lucifer chuckled. "Well now. Aren't we playing mommy? You have a brother, am I right, Sam?" Sam gulped and nodded. 

"You might want to spread your other wing and tuck that little chick under there too, brother. That one is spoken for by dear old Mike." Gabriel's eyes flashed. 

"Really? Well, we'll see about that. Sam, come on. We're done here. Thanks for the heads up, Luci. And the hospitality. See you around!" Gabriel tugged Sam to him and with the same dizzying swirl of sound and color, they were off.


	19. Chapter 19

When they landed, Sam put his hands on his knees and breathe deeply. "Geez... that kind of travel is a bit trying." 

Gabriel hummed and waited for Sam to straighten. "Sam... what was Lucifer talking about?" 

Sam raised his eyebrows at the tone. "I'm guessing the fact that Azazel let me drink his blood, in order to prep me for the demon version of 'The Hunger Games'. I was supposed to lead his demon army into battle. Needless to say, Dean and I didn't agree. Dean shot the bastard with the Colt, and that was it." 

Not satisfied, Gabriel started to pace. "Then, what about Dean? Why would Michael lay claim on him?" Sam could only shrug. 

"I don't know, but I hope he doesn't. If he finds out who I am..." Gabriel blanched. 

"Oh, sweet popsicles... That would be  bad !" Suddenly Gabriel's movements were filled with nervous energy. He clapped his hands and grabbed Sam's arm. 

"Right. My sweet, dear Sam, I'm going to turn back time to that Wednesday, and you keep Din... Dean, safe." Sam pulled free. 

"Hang on, Gabe... I have one question, and I want a straight answer." Gabriel gulped but nodded. 

"Is Dean actually Diniël?" Looking away, Gabriel sighed. "Yes... Every time I reincarnated you, you would find each other. You know all the weird stories in mythology 101, about twins, separated at birth, ending up married, or mothers, marrying their son? Quite a few were you two, boneheads. So, after having a few trial and errors, I found out it’s best to keep you two together. The last few hundred incarnations, you two have always been siblings. Thick as thieves every damn time. Remember my little speech, about sacrificing yourselves for one another? That was based on experience. Blood and pain, Shamsiël. Four out of seven lives." Gabriel sat down and put his head in his hands. 

"What was I thinking? It hurt me as much as it hurt you two. I love you more than I can even say, but I love Din too. He's like my brother in law and my kid in one..." 

Sam knelt in front of Gabriel. "We should tell Dean. About all of this." 

Gabriel shook his head. "No, no no. If he recalls by himself, like you did, it's ok. But we can't force it on him. His mind may not be ready. I will reset time to that stupid Wednesday, and I will come visit you, in your dreams, or when you're alone. But don't tell Dean. Please, it could break his mind."

Forlorn, Sam nodded. "Ok, Gabe. Like I said, I trust you."

Gabriel hugged Sam and he caught his mouth in a sweet kiss. "I love you, honeybear." 

Sam smiled, "I love you too, angel." The last thing Sam heard was the snap of Gabriel’s fingers.

**February 2008, one Wednesday in Broward County, Florida**

Music started blaring and gingerly, Sam sat up. Looking towards the vanity, he saw Dean, brushing his teeth. ,

"Were you gonna sleep all day?" his big brother asked, rinsing out the brush. 

Then he turned towards Sam. "I know, no Asia... this station sucks." Sam turned to the bedstand and glanced at the alarm. His eyes misted over as he saw the day.

Turning back to Dean, he softly said: "It's Wednesday..." He vaguely heard his brother's witty reply, but he just needed one thing. 

Ignoring anything Dean said, he got up and walked over to him as Dean put the toothbrush away. When Dean turned back to him, he suddenly was enveloped in a crushing hug. Sam just couldn't let go. 

"Dude, how many Tuesdays did you have?" Dean asked with a hint of resignation. 

Still hugging, Sam simply said: "Enough." 

A thought finally formed in Sam's brain and he asked what Dean remembered. When Dean mentioned running into the Trickster.

Sam felt a twinge in his heart.  _ 'Gabe... Thank you... love you.' _

In the back of his head, he heard a familiar chuckle.  _ 'Love you too, honeybear... Now get going. I'll see you later.'  _ Sam smiled when he answered Dean. "No breakfast."


	20. Chapter 20

Cas flew off, the need to find and protect Sam, burning in his brain, when a tremor went through the world.

The sound of the car's engine revving shook Cas from his memory. He could see the car pulling out of town. Wait, someone had altered time. Cas could remember months of flying after Sam, while he was hunting, but those memories were vague and gritty, like old paper. Feeling bold, Cas did some ace stunt flying and landed on the backseat of the car, invisible. 

"Sucks that we didn't save the professor, Sam. But I think you're glad to leave there, am I right?" Sam looked pensive. 

"Sammy? You with me?" Dean sounded worried. 

“You know what? We'll get a motel near here, and we'll wait for that son of a bitch to show his ugly mug. Then we'll gank him. How's that, huh?" Dean suggested.

Sam looked simply horrified, "No! I mean... he'll be gone halfway across the continent now. He's a Trickster. He won't walk out of town." 

Cas could feel the weight of the extra time and memories on Sam. Days, months. More months than Cas could remember following him. What had happened there? 

"Awe, come on, Sam. I really want a shot at him. Don't spoil the fun with your logic." Cas smiled. For a protector of infants, Diniël really was a big child himself at times. Looked like Dean had that trait too. 

"Let's just get as far away as possible. Maybe we can find a motel when it gets dark, but until then, just drive." Sam replied and got back to staring out the window.

Cas could sense Sam's mind wandering and a feeling of great love flowed off him. Cas frowned. Who did Sam love this much, besides his brother? The car was silent for a while, but Dean apparently didn't like it, so he turned on the radio. Sam glanced at it but remained silent. That is until a new song began. After only three accords, Sam turned it off. 

"Dude! Asia!" Dean called indignantly. A death glare from his brother shut him up. "Crap. Sorry, Sammy." 

Sam sighed. "It's ok, Dean. I never wanna hear it again, that's all." He turned back to the window and muttered under his breath, so low only Cas could hear it with his angelic hearing. _ "Really. I love you to bits, but you will have to beg me to forgive you this."  _

Cas tilted his head in confusion. That was an odd comment. Sam turned to his brother again. "Dean, let's eat. There's a diner up ahead. You can have anything you want. As long as it isn't pig 'n a poke." 

Dean smiled. "Even pie?" That earned him a smile, so bright, Cas thought this had to be Shamsiël. "Even pie, Dean." 

Cas decided that he might have to leave the brothers be for a bit. He knew a lot about them, and he could tune on them if he wanted to. He had some questions, and he would get his answers.

**February 2008, Thursday, a motel near Okeelanta, Florida**

Dean dug through his duffel, looking for a clean shirt when the Clannad CD dropped out. With trepidation, he picked it up. He still had to listen to numbers four and up. Biting his lip, he slid the disc into the side of Sam's laptop. Sam was doing laundry, so he'd be gone for awhile. Skipping to the fourth song, Dean sighed. He wasn't saying the other song caused that freak fainting spell, but he wasn't saying it didn't. In his life weird was usual, so he wasn't taking chances. 

What he didn't expect was for the very first legible lines to punch the air out of him.  _ "No matter where you go, I will find you. If it takes a long, long time. No matter where you go, I will find you. If it takes a thousand years."  _ Clear as day, he remembered lobbing pebbles at cans, then hearing that gravelly voice in his head. 

Dean sank down on a chair, running his hand through his hair. Those words, those lines, they were there throughout the whole song. Dean could hear them without wincing, when the song ended. He drew a shuddering breath. He was still a bit shaken, but he also knew that the odds of him finding out how the words he had heard in his head when he was five ended up in a song, were next to none.

At least the song had ended now... The next song started.  _ "I've been willing and strong all along, through chilling times. In a sea of heartbreak, where you give and take. I won't give in to promises, until I find something to believe in."  _ Dean stiffened, while walking to the bathroom. It couldn't be... 

Instantly Dean was transported to that cold day in 1987, when he had found that nice den in the woods in Maryland.  _ 'I can't believe it. These are exact words, the exact words.... How?' _ Dean stumbled towards the bed.

 

 

 

 


	21. Chapter 21

Drawing a shaking breath, Dean ran his hands through his hair. His throat worked, but somehow the odd words he knew he had said before didn't come out. _ 'Come on, Winchester. This is frustrating and not getting you anywhere.'  _

With trembling hands, he switched the CD off and hid it at the bottom of his duffel. He sighed and flopped back on the bed. Deciding to forget it, for now, Dean grabbed his iPod and let his own music soothe him. His shoulders relaxed, and with a grateful moan, Dean rolled onto his stomach. He wrapped his arms around the pillow, heaving a satisfied sigh as he felt the tingle along either side of his spine that meant he was utterly relaxed. He closed his eyes, humming softly along with AC/DC. Before the song was done, Dean was snoring softly.

_ Dean tugged his tunic and ran a hand along his wing. Really, Gabriel was the best. He sent him for silly little errands as often as he could, just so Dean could meet Cas. Smiling, he ran his thumb over his lower lip. It was still tingling from Cas' kisses.  _

**_"Diniël?"_ ** _ Dean froze at the sound of his ex-commander's voice. This was bad. He slowly turned.  _

**_"Michael. Good to see you."_ ** _ Michael let his eyes wander over him top to bottom, and they narrowed dangerously.  _

**_"I see you are shirking your obligations to your new garrison."_ ** _ It sounded vindictive and Dean felt his wings puff up.  _

**_"I'm here on an errand from Gabriel."_ ** _ he countered. Michael circled around him and he kept eyeing him up and down.  _

**_"Really? I think you might have been, but you are still ignoring the most basic of rules. You are still.... still... seeing him."_ ** _ Michael held up a hand to stop Dean protesting.  _

**_"Don't deny it, Diniël. I can see it in the way your eyes shine, your lips are puffed and your hair is mussed. Your plumage is in disarray. You're a disgrace!"_ ** _ At the last sentence, Michael pushed Dean in the shoulder, making him stumble. Dean righted himself.  _

**_"And what if I have, Michael? I don't think you will be able to stop us from seeing each other."_ ** _ The Archangel spread his wings and stepped close into Dean's personal space.  _

_ Lowering his voice dangerously, the archangel whispered:  _ **_"Oh, don't I? Remember that Father left me in charge? I can make you fall, Diniël."_ **

_ His voice was rising, ringing out.  _ **_"And to stop this thing between you and Castiël, I will. Even if it hurts me, I will, Din."_ **

_ By now, Michael was full on yelling.  _ **_"If you are so bent on acting like a... a human... you can go live with them!"_ **

_ At that Michael shoved him, hard, and Dean felt himself tumble back, and fall. He kept falling, his wings thrashing.  _

**_"Cas!"_ ** _ He reached, trying to gain flight on empty air. Suddenly his fall was stalled, and he drifted down instead.  _

**_"I gotcha, bucko. Just hang in there. We'll figure this out."_ ** _ a familiar voice said, conjuring up images of warmth, whiskey-colored eyes and a sassy smile. Then the world went dark, and Dean felt warm and safe. _

Sam opened the door to the motel room, and smiled. Finally, Dean slept. He flipped on the light and turned to see of Dean needed a blanket or something. He gasped. Gingerly he stepped up to his brother, hoping it was just a trick of the light, but even up close he still saw it. 

Swallowing hard, Sam concentrated.  _ 'Gabe... love, I think we have a situation. Could you pop over?' _ A soft fluttering, and Sam had his arms full of Archangel. 

"Miss me that much, Shamshine?" Gabe asked, teasingly, and kissed Sam warmly. 

Sam moaned and kissed back shortly. "Always, my angel, but that's not why I called." 

He let go of Gabriel and motioned to the bed where his sleeping brother laid. "Can you explain  that ?" 

Gabriel turned around and gasped. Walking over, he bent down to examine Dean's back. "His wings... barely there, but they're his alright. Great horned owl. They seem intangible... wanna try, Shamshine?" 

He glanced up, eyes twinkling. Sam swallowed, but walked over. He let his slender fingers trail along the arch of the right wing. It tingled, like he had trailed his fingers through ice-water, and Dean's wing twitched. Dean himself moaned softly and a smile graced his lips. 

"I'd say he felt that." Gabriel commented wryly.

"It's ghostly, but tangible like mist. Not solid, but I felt something." Sam stated in wonder. 

Gabe hummed, put two fingers to Dean's forehead and turned to Sam. "There, he's out for the night. Time enough to get to serious business." 

Sam nodded, and then chuckled as Gabe leapt into his arms. "And to make out. I missed you, Sweetcakes." Sam nuzzled his hair. "Missed you too, angel."

 


	22. Chapter 22

  
Castiel wandered the municipal courtyard, his hands deep in his pockets, cerulean eyes darting to and fro, his senses on high alert. He had survived eons on Earth by learning to trust his instincts, and now his gut had told him to go here. Home, yet no longer his. Everything was unchanged, familiar, yet he felt outcast as if he no longer belonged. Luckily the dress code had been updated. He'd have stood out like a sore thumb if it hadn't.

Now most angels were dressed as if they were working in corporate business, so his navy-blue suit, white dress shirt, and blue tie weren't all that strange. The only off thing would be his tan trench coat, which he had folded over his arm. Several angels had already rushed by him, a curt "brother" as a greeting.

Anonymity amongst his 'family', he snorted to himself. In the beginning of his self-imposed exile, he had been too angry to care, but after a while, he had gotten slightly homesick. Now, he wondered why. There was no-one who even knew his name anymore. With a sigh, he sat down in his favorite shady spot behind a low hedge, mostly out of sight. Only if someone leaned on the second-floor window, look straight down and searched, would they happen to catch a glimpse of navy-blue under the foliage from the vines covering the wall.

"Zachariah, have you got a progress report?" Castiel froze. Michael. He still felt his anger burn as he heard that voice again, for the first time in eons. 

Surreptitiously, he peered through a gap in the hedge. Michael, in a spotless suit, strode by, closely followed by another guy in an equally pristine outfit.

"Yes. My reports state that Sam and Dean Winchester are well on their way to be the perfect recipients. We only have to wait for the first seal to break. And with our allies in the Underworld, we should be able to have both vessels near when the last one breaks." Ice flooded Castiel's veins.

That couldn't be, Sam and Dean... the Two True Vessels? He hoped, beyond all hopes, that Dean would be destined for Lucifer. How cruel that would be to have Dean - if he was Diniël - to be Michael's vessel. That would be the ultimate punishment. Michael would have Din, at last, to have and hold. Castiel shivered. And Lucifer would have Sam, Shamsiël.

Good grief. It was the irony of all ironies. Both angels had caught the eye of an Archangel, and both hadn't known. Now those same Archangels would possess them. He had to find out if his hunches were right. He carefully left his hiding place and took flight.

 

Sam lay on his bed, Gabriel snuggled under his arm. They had kissed and hugged and talked for hours and now they were just basking in each other's presence. Despite the imminent threat to Dean, Sam felt truly happy. Suddenly, Gabriel shot up.

"Crap! I can sense an angel!" He struggled to get out from under the strong arm Sam had slung over his shoulders. Before he got to his feet, a man appeared in the room. His amazingly blue eyes wide and his pink lips open in surprise.

"Gabriel?!" Gabe hopped to his feet.

"Baby Brother!!!" He leaped into the other man's arms and pulled him into a crushing hug. A bit flustered, the angel hugged back.

"Gabriel! How? When? Why?" Gabe grinned. Sam smiled and got up. Standing, Sam estimated the guy to be about six feet and he looked about the same as he did in Sam's memories. As did Gabriel, come to think of it.

Sam frowned. "Cas? How come you look like yourself? I thought you needed a vessel."

Castiel gaped. Gabriel was beside himself with joy. "You found your true vessel..." Cas shook his head and regarded his bouncy brother with reserve.

"Yes. I found him shortly after I left. I am very fortunate indeed. I see you did too." Cas turned his blue eyes on Sam, and the hunter swallowed hard. It felt like Cas was staring into his soul. "You remember me?"

The gravelly voice shook Sam from his stupor. "Yes, I--I am starting to remember bits now. Bits of... heaven.


	23. Chapter 23

Castiel rounded on Gabriel - the fourth Archangel - missing longer than Diniël and Shamsiël.

"What did you do, Gabriel?" He sounded accusing, exasperated and he felt almost desperate.

Gabriel smirked. "Well, look at you, little Cassie. Finally grew some balls. Last time we met, you would have never, ever talked to anybody like that, let alone one of the Archangels. Good for you."

The smirk turned into a genuine smile. "I mean it, Castiël. Good for you."

Cas scoffed. "The whole 'respect thy superiors', I left that at home, where they want it. When Michael..." He paused, not able to word the feat, not even after all this time. "I just didn't feel it anymore. Respect needs to be earned, not demanded."

He eyed Sam again. "So, you are Shamsiël?" The hunter nodded.

Cas narrowed his eyes, scanned him up and down. "How is this possible? Gabriel..."

Gabriel rolled his eyes. "Yes, I did it. Ok? I figured old stick-in-the-mud Mike would pull something stupid like that. So I stuck around. And when he shoved Din to ground level, I picked him up, hid him. I did the same for Shammy here. Cloaked their grace, had it mimic a soul. Reincarnated them so often, the grace, soul, whatever, mutated, evolved."

He pouted in that typical Gabriel way. "Shammy started remembering stuff only recently. Odds are, Din isn't far behind, if not ahead..."

When Gabe commented on Dean catching on like Sam did, Sam glanced at the bed. Dean was still out cold. Sam breathed out in a shiver.

Cas followed his glance and gasped. "His wings... why did you do that, Gabriel?"

Gabriel raised his hands defensively. "Hey now. I didn't do anything, bucko. Sam called me down here because this is the first time this has happened." Cas rounded on Gabriel, having Sam fight down the urge to step in front of him.

He knew Gabriel was capable enough to take care of himself, "Do you even realize how screwed up this is, Gabriel? I don't know how this happened, but it's even worse than you think..."

Gabriel blinked. "How can this be worse, brother? We are royally screwed if I ever need to uncloak their graces. No telling what they have become!"

Cas glared between Sam and Gabriel. "I was just in Heaven. By Dad, that place has changed, yet it is still the same... I overheard Michael and Zachariah talking."

Sam noted the bitterness when Cas pronounced the first name. "They believe Sam and Dean are the Two True Vessels."

Gabriel sat down hard, his eyes wide and his mouth agape, "You're kidding!" he gasped.

Cas shook his dark head sadly. "No. I'm not, brother. They truly believe they are."

Gabe looked at Sam and the latter swallowed hard. "That would explain the interest Lucifer has in me, Gabe," he said around a thick throat.

Gabriel stared into thin air, "Holy Hell...." he breathed.

Cas frowned and eyed them both. "Lucifer? What does he mean, brother?"

Gabriel snapped out of his stupor. "I--I errr..." Sam shook his head. For an Archangel, Gabriel was a bit uncertain at times.

"He took me to see him. Get answers. Lucifer doesn't know I am who I am. He didn't even know me as Sam Winchester until Gabe accidentally namedropped. It was only after that, that Lucifer showed anything more than disdain or a grudging, very low, respect towards me." Gabriel nodded.

"And it would explain his remarks concerning Dean... oh my Dad, this is really getting complicated." Sam silently agreed with his lover. This was getting to be like an intricate puzzle. He noticed how Cas was looking at them in alarm, before flicking his gaze onto the sleeping form of Dean.

 "What did the Serpent have to say about him?" Sam blinked at the worrying and at the same time bitter tone.

"Cas... I'm not Lucifer's number one fan, but he actually isn't that bad. A bit condescending, but he didn't strike me as pure evil."

Cas scoffed. "How would you know?" Sam pulled himself to his full height, sick and tired of these angels acting as if he was nothing but a monkey.

"Because I talked to him. He was a bit arrogant and thought less of me because I am human, but he did speak to me. And he was honest in his answers, sometimes brutally so."

Cas raised his eyebrows. "He talked to you?"

Sam rolled his eyes. Why was this so hard to believe for the angel? "Yes. And he told us that he wasn't kicked out for not loving humans more than your Father, but because he and Michael fought about the 'loving equally' policy."

Cas sat down on the empty bed, his gaze on the sleeping man. "Gabriel? Has my life been that big of a lie? Even though I ran away?"

Gabriel sat down next to his brother and put an arm over his shoulder. "Michael knows how to use propaganda, Cassie. He has most of the creation in his pocket. Luci isn't bad, just rebellious. Mike painted him blacker than coal, just so he could be right. And now he wants an Apocalypse? Crap. We need to talk business."

 


	24. Chapter 24

Dean heard voices rumble, but he was in that wonderful state of not caring. He was relaxed to the max if the tingles next to his spine were any indication, and the warm, fuzzy feeling of a good sleep let him keep his eyes shut.

"But we need to find out what Dean knows..." That was Sammy.

Dean smiled into his pillow. He loved his silly sasquatch brother, and he was willing to tell him just about anything, except the stuff from his dreams. That was just too weird.

"Shamshine, please. I told you that it could implode his brain if he's not ready." That voice sounded familiar too. Dean smirked. He was waiting for Sam to lash out about the nickname.

"I know, angel, but I still say we should try and figure out what he already knows. Or remembers." That had Dean frowning. Not only did Sam not bitch about getting a nickname, he called the other guy "angel" in a tone that wasn't sarcastic.

"What do you think, bro?" the unknown guy asked.

A throat was cleared. "I think he is waking up."

That voice, Dean shivered. It couldn't be. Dean's head shot up and he glanced around the room. "Morning, Sleeping Beauty." his brother said, pouring two mugs of coffee. Dean looked around wildly.

"Sam?" He wavered, hating how his voice cracked a bit. "Hm?" was his only reply.

"Who were you talking to?"

' _Crap... seems he was more awake than we thought._ ' Sam felt his insides clench.

"No-one. Who would I have been talking to? We're the only ones here." He saw Dean case the room suspiciously, but the angels had flown the coop right after Cas' remark. Gabe had mentally told Sam not to worry and act like nothing was wrong.

"Coffee, Dean? You look a bit spooked. Bad dream?" His brother rubbed his head with both hands and groaned. A quick glance told Sam that the wings had disappeared again.

"Yeah... yeah. Gimme!" Dean grumbled and blindly reached out. Sniggering, Sam handed him the mug.

"So, what did you dream about?" he asked, pulling a chair around and straddling it. He laid his left arm on the back and sipped his coffee.

Dean glared at him over the rim of his mug. "Nothing."

Sam chuckled. "Come on! You've been having disturbing dreams for months now. Tell me. Maybe it'll help stop them. You were out like a light by the time I got back yesterday, and you slept through the whole night. You must have been exhausted!"

Dean grumbled into his mug.

"What was that?" Sam teased.

"I said you're a nosy sasquatch, and I'm not telling you." Smiling, Sam shook his head.

' _Honeybear, I have talked with Cassie, and he and I agree on some stuff. I'm going underground for a bit. If you really, REALLY need me, pray. Ok?_ ' Sam inhaled a sip of coffee and coughed, in the meantime answering Gabe with an ‘ _ok_.’

Dean patted his back concernedly. "You ok, Sammy?"

Spluttering, Sam wiped his mouth. "Yeah... I'll live."

Dean was getting annoyed. For all of Sam's claims that it was just a dream, the big galoot had sure been pressing him all day about what he had been dreaming about. Besides... didn't dreaming mean you saw stuff in your mind?

Dean was sure he hadn't seen anything. He had been unwilling to open his eyes and fully wake up. That voice, Cas' gravelly voice, that was what had woken him fully.

How could a voice from a dream wake you up? Dean decided that he would try and get the truth from Sammy. First, he would watch for Sam's tell signs for lying. If he showed those, then Dean would pry further. Sam came back with some food and they sat down to dinner.

Dean watched his brother closely. "So, you really weren't talking to anybody this morning? Not even on the phone?" There! There it was! Sam's eyes flicked away ever so briefly, before looking straight at him in a very specific bitchface. Dean always called that the #9 'I'm-lying-through-my-teeth-but-gonna-act-like-it's-your-fault.' Sam didn't know Dean could see through that one.

"Dean, how many times? You saw the room, there was no-one there!" Munching on his burger, Dean hummed.

"Hey, Dean. Just wondering. Do you ever think your fear of flying might actually more be a fear of falling?" Dean looked at him from under his eyelashes.

"Seriously? Where did that come from?" Sam shrugged, spearing some salad on his fork.

"Just trying to make conversation that's not about this morning," Dean grumbled around his burger.

"I don't know, alright?" In his mind, he felt again how he was falling, falling, falling. The wind tugging at his wings, almost ripping the feathers out, quills and all. He felt the horror clutch at his heart. He would smash to the ground and be no more. Dean shrugged, ostentatiously to show he didn't know, but really to rid his mind of those feelings.

"Could very well be. When I dream I'm flying, I really enjoy it." Sam eyed him from the corners of his eyes. Dean shrugged and bit into his burger again. Let him make out of that what he wants.


	25. Chapter 25

Sam waited patiently, pretending to sleep. He wanted Dean asleep. Finally Dean's breathing evened out and Sam carefully sat up.

_ 'Cas? Can you hear me?' _ With the rustle of wings, Cas appeared. 

Before he could speak, Sam shushed him, "Let's go out, before he wakes. He's a light sleeper," he whispered, as he lithely got up an sneaked out the door. 

Cas tilted his head questioningly, but followed anyway. Once Sam had closed the door and walked a few feet down the parkinglot, he turned. 

"Hi, Cas. Good to see you." 

Cas inclined his head a little, "And you... Sam, Shamsiël? How do I address you?" 

Sam smiled, "Just Sam is great. I'm still getting used to Shamsiël." 

Cas nodded, biting his lip, "Alright. So, why did you call?" 

Sam sighed. "I finally got something out of that stubborn ass. He has dreamt that he was flying, and he wasn't scared." 

Cas frowned. "Why is that of import?" 

Sam grinned. "He's deathly afraid of flying. Like, bordering on panic attack afraid. But if he remembers flying with his own wings, and he isn't afraid, that might mean he is remembering." 

Cas rubbed his chin. "You could be right. Plus... and I never got the chance to tell you, he recognized me, when I dreamwalked. And he sensed something was off. I didn't change clothes to fit the dream." 

Sam's eyes lit up. "Really? You dreamwalked Dean's dreams?"

Cas smiled softly. "Just this one, I think he was actually dreaming of Heaven. He had his wings, and was wearing the tunic and caligulae he used to..." 

Sam grinned like Christmas had come early. "What else?" 

Cas frowned in thought. "It wasn't a long dream, and I think I messed it up for him. I questioned him about how it was possible that you were human. It was just after you had summoned me to Maine, to bring that sea-captain's ghost." 

Sam gaped, then frowned. "The spell... Azael, Castiël... oh god! I did! I did summon you! I'm so sorry!" 

Cas smiled at him. "Don't worry, Shamsiël. I'm not offended at all. I'm actually glad. Because of that spell, I found you and Diniël again." 

Sam still frowned, trying to remember. "It was just before the Mystery Spot. We saved Bela, and were headed to Atlantic City-" He gasped, grabbing Cas by the coat. 

"Cas! He does remember stuff! I woke him up because I was worried. He was shivering, and tossing and turning-- and then he called me Shamsiël! I knew I'd heard him correctly!" He looked at the angel with brightly shining eyes and that warm, bright smile. "We gotta tell Gabe!" 

Cas put his hands on the younger man's shoulders. "Later, Sam. He'll be back soon. For now, it is too dangerous to call him. He's undercover." 

Sam raised his eyebrows, but nodded. "Fine. When he gets back." Cas nodded and flew off. 

Dean caught Sam closing the door.  _ 'Huh. Probably needs a drink or a walk.'  _ the hunter assumed but didn't go back to sleep. The soft rumble of voices piqued his interest and after an internal debate of about a minute, he threw off the covers and shivered in the cold room.  _ 'Wonder who Sammy is talking to...' _ he thought, trying to catch the conversation. Sam was a wiley one and he had made sure to be a decent distance from the room. 

Grumbling, Dean got up and as lithe and stealthy as his brother had been, he made his way to the door. Opening it would alert Sam that he was up and that would end in drama. Dean pressed his ear to the wood. The voices got a bit clearer, but still, no clear words could be made out. Dean pouted in thought, then, very carefully, he made his way to the window, cupped his hand around his ear, then pressed it against the glass. 

"...gets back." Sam said. Then nothing. No answer, no footsteps. Dean was certain that he had heard two voices. One distinctly lower than Sam's rich voice.  _ What the hell was going on here?  _

When he heard Sam suck in his breath, for he had stubbed his toe against the porch, Dean quickly went and sat on his bed, waiting for Sam to come in. Sam snuck back in and closed the door. 

"Who were you talking to, Sammy?" Dean asked, an accusing tone in his voice. 

Sam jumped. "Geez! You're lucky I'm not carrying a gun, I might have shot you!" 

Dean pointedly raised his eyebrows. "Just another guest. I woke up and wanted some air." 

Dean shook his head. "Not buying it, Sam." He glared at his brother, a knowing glow in his eyes, "Please, tell me you aren’t trying to break my contract, are you?”


	26. Chapter 26

Sam gasped. "No!" His answer was true, and Dean seemed to hear it in his voice. He dropped it. Sam mentally slapped his head. He never even asked the angels if they could break the stupid contract.

"I don't know what you're up to, Sam, but don't think about breaking it. You'll die. I can't-do that. Not again." Sam remembered Gabriel telling him how they had sacrificed themselves time and again.

He smiled and pulled his big brother into a hug. "I won't. I promise."

Dean hugged him back furiously, "Don't you dare break that promise!" he hissed out, and Sam just knew he was close to tears. Sam didn't say anything more, just kept hugging his brother until Dean patted him on the back to tell him to let go.

Walking back to his bed, Dean suddenly bent over and picked something up. Wondering what it was, Sam craned his neck. "What's that, Dean?"

He couldn't see properly in the dimly lit room. "Nothing. Just a sock."

Dean answered and he crawled back into his bed. "Let's sleep, Sammy. It's late."

Sam sighed. Dean was right. He crawled into his own bed and was sleeping in minutes, his dreams pleasant and light for once. Dean watched his brother as he slept, listening to the soft, even breaths.

 _'Finally...'_ he mused and pulled out what he had picked up. In the soft moonlight, there was a silver edge to the raven-black feather. Dean traced it along his palm and stared at it as it moved and reflected the light.

 _'It could have been there before we even booked the room. Sam could have traced it in with his nighttime stroll. It's probably just a crow's...'_ Dean sighed. He knew what he wanted it to be and scoffed at his own mind. _'Honestly Dean, when did you start believing in angels?'_ he mused, twirling the feather around between his fingers. He resisted the urge to let the small things slide along his cheek, instead he carefully curled his fist around it and snuggled down in his bedding. He wished the owner of the feather would turn up, so he could set his mind at ease, then scoffed at his own idiocy again. Alternating between wanting to believe and cursing himself out for wanting it, Dean finally drifted off.

 **_"Hello, Dean."_ ** _Dean turned around, his heart thumping at the sound of that gravelly voice._

 **_"Cas?"_ ** _The angel stood under a street light, leaning against Baby._

 **_"What is going on here?"_ ** _Dean heard his own voice waver, and he cleared his throat. Cas looked like a rather regular guy, except for his amazingly blue eyes and handsome face. Dark suit, white button up, blue tie and a tan trenchcoat._

 **_"I'm wondering the same thing, Dean. I can feel your wish to meet, to be close, yet you don't call me."_ ** _Dean rubbed his neck, looking down at the pavement._

 ** _"But you're not real. Angels... I mean, come on!"_** _Castiel tilted his head, and Dean smiled. He never thought a guy could look so adorably cute._

 **_"Dean, you have your memories. You know."_ ** _He stepped away from Baby, closer to Dean, who could hear his heart thump._

 **_"Dean, you know who you are. Who Sam is. Please, don't forget yourself. I've spent so many eons trying to find the both of you. Don't make me lose you again."_ ** _The gravelly voice was pleading, and Dean could feel his heart squeeze together at the sound._

 **_"Cas..."_ ** _he whispered, devastated, longing. Suddenly the angel grabbed his face and smashed their mouths together. Dean moaned and tangled his hands in the dark locks, relishing the softness. It was Heaven, bliss and coming home all in one messy, sweet kiss, and Dean felt his knees go weak._

 _Cas whimpered,_ **_"Din... I missed you.."_ ** _he whispered as he pulled free. Dean made a noise he would deny until his dying day. It was needy, soft and bordered on a whine._

 **_"Cas, Castiël... I need you,"_ ** _he muttered as he pulled those pink lips to his again. Cas melted against him. Humming, Dean licked along the seam of those soft lips. Cas opened his mouth with a sigh and Dean felt fire running through his veins. He dipped his tongue into that warmth and Cas emitted a surprised moan, before leaning in even more. Dean let his tongue swirl around Cas'._

 **_'Oh my god... this is divine! I've never really kissed before this!'_ ** _Dean thought and moaned. Cas echoed his moan, but then pulled back. His cheeks were flushed and he was panting. With his cerulean eyes wide, he stared at Dean._  
  



	27. Chapter 27

Cas decided to dreamwalk Dean's dream again. What Sam had told him gave him such hope. He had to find out if the want he could feel coming from Dean, was really what he was reading into it.

He could feel it pulsing from the motel room, pulling at him, then releasing. He listened carefully until he could hear both brothers breathe evenly in their sleep. He sighed and entered Dean's dream. He found himself leaning against Dean's car, his heart speeding up as he saw the familiar human form of Dean.

When Dean turned around at his greeting, the pull of want became so much stronger, but the resistance Dean gave tripled. He needed to address this, or they would both get torn apart by it. Dean looked ill at ease and when he expressed his lack of belief, Cas tilted his head, wondering how he could not believe what his eyes and his memories told him.

Cas felt his hope crumble and he pleaded his case. When Dean whispered his name so devastated, Cas felt his reserve dissolve and he pulled Dean in for a kiss. He had missed kissing him so, so much. He had missed everything with him so, so much. The way their mouths just fit together, the feel of his hands in his hair, pulling slightly. Cas felt lifer than he had in eons. He had to tell Din... he pulled free, whispering what his heart was screaming.

Dean's voice was soft, but it made Cas' heart pound. He needed Cas! As much as Cas needed him. Then Dean pulled him back and Cas just fit himself against him. This was just like they had done back in Heaven. Dean's tongue slid over his lips and Cas sighed at the sensation. Then he felt it in his mouth, and in his surprise, he moaned, but it felt so nice! He felt Dean's tongue slide against his own and his moan vibrate in his throat. Cas couldn't stop his own moan, but it did wake him. This was new! They had kissed, but nothing like this, ever. His precious Din had changed, he had become Dean, a human, and so much more complicated. He pulled back, panting, and his eyes locked with the viridian ones he loved so much.

"Dean..." The man sighed, leaning their foreheads together. "Cas, can-- can this be real? Can I have this?"

Cas smiled, in spite of the turmoil in his heart. "Why not, Dean?"

Dean blew out his breath, warm and sweet on Cas' lips and Cas bit his bottom lip to stop himself from kissing Dean again.

"Cas, I--I have..." Another shuddering breath,"I made a deal. With a crossroads demon. I'm cursed, Cas. I'm half a man. I only have a few more months."

Cas smiled sweetly, "I know, Dean. And it will all work out, I promise."

Dean narrowed his eyes and tilted his head, "Excuse me?"

***

_Dean stared into the cerulean depths, and he felt something in his soul hum. He wanted this. He wanted the angel, to have and to hold. To wake up to in the morning, after holding him through the night. He bumped their heads together softly. He didn't deserve this. He shouldn't have it. He had dealt his soul, he was not worth the love that he saw in those deep blue eyes. He had to tell Cas, so he could walk away from Dean. He needn't be sucked down with him. He blew out the breath he had been holding and closed his eyes._

_**"Cas, I-- I have..."** Shit, he could do this. He had to. 'Ok then. Quick, like a band-aid.' He blurted out his secret, his heart shriveling in his chest. Cas would frown upon him and leave. He opened his eyes, only to see a sweet smile playing around those pink lips._

_**"I know, Dean."** Dean blinked. The rest of what Cas said got lost to the roar of 'He knows... he knows! How can he know?' that played in a loop through Dean's mind. _

_**"Excuse me?"** Dean blurted out._

_Cas let go of him and stepped back. **"We need to talk, Dean."**_

_Dean scoffed. **"No shit, Sherlock..."** Again that adorable head tilt. _

_**"I'm Castiël, Dean, you know that,"** Dean sank to the floor, laughing. All the tension and emotions suddenly overwhelmed him, and he just laughed. _

_**"I'm sorry, Cas. I'm going to wake up. This is getting too..."** He waved his hands vaguely. _

_**"Just too much for me."** Cas knelt next to him, a hand on his shoulder. _

_**"Dean?"** Dean looked up, and his chuckles turned into sobs. Everything started to fade. The last thing Dean could see clearly were Cas' blue eyes, worried and confused._

 


	28. Chapter 28

Dean's eyes flew open, and he gasped. To his embarrassment, his cheeks were wet. He sat up, glancing at Sam. _ 'Crap. He's awake.' _ Furiously rubbing his cheeks dry, he cleared his throat. "Morning Sammy." 

Sam's response was soft and caring, meaning he had noticed how Dean had woken up. "Morning, Dean. Do you want breakfast? Or just coffee?" 

Dean sighed.  _ 'Damn dreams. Now Sammy is worried too.' _ He ran a hand through his hair, trying to organize his thoughts. "Pancakes, please, Sammy. With syrup." 

Sam smiled and got up. "Be back in a tick." The door closed behind him and Dean moaned, flopping face first in his pillow. He really needed a drink. His head was way too much occupied with dying on Sam's next birthday, and blue-eyed angels. He bunched his fists under his pillow and buried his head in it. Something soft brushed his knuckles. Swiftly he threw his pillow aside, to reveal the black feather. A blueish sheen lay over it and Dean inhaled a shuddering breath. _ 'Cas...' _ he thought longingly. ' _... I wish you were real. I wish you were here...'  _ He scrunched his face up against the tears that seemed to want to spill again.

"Hello, Dean." Dean shot up. _ 'No way! That's impossible!'  _ Next to his bed, the dark-haired, trench coat wearing man had shown up. 

"Cas?" Dean breathed.

A small smile quirked the pink, chapped lips up. "Yes, Dean. It's me." 

Dean blamed it on his unstable mindset, but he jumped up and pulled the guy in a hug, burying his head in the crook of that lean neck. Inhaling the scent that lingered there, Dean felt his body relax instantly. 

"Cas..." he said relieved. "You're  here , you're  real ." 

Cas returned his hug, pressing his cheek softly against Dean's hair. 

"Of course I am. You prayed to me. I had to come." His gravelly voice had Dean's heart flutter and grow warm.

"You're an actual angel." A soft chuckle. "Yes, I am. But I don't think Heaven would be very welcoming, should I wish to return." 

Reluctant, Dean pulled back a bit. "What?" Cas' cerulean eyes twinkled up at him. 

"It is not of import, Dean. What is, is that you prayed to me." Dean smiled down at him. 

"That's true." he answered, his eyes on those pink lips. 

"I missed you, Cas." A soft sigh escaped Cas and he licked his lips. Dean watched that little pink tip dart out and in, and he dipped his head to chase it.

Their lips met, and in unison, they groaned at the contact. Dean deepened the kiss and Cas followed him. Somewhere in Dean's head, something fizzed, like a short circuit, and Dean took the dark head in his hands. When Cas moaned, Dean licked along his bottom lip, tasting, asking, and Cas opened his mouth with a sigh. Dean dipped his tongue in and the silky feel of Cas' tongue against his own, turned his bones to goo. 

"Cas..." Dean gasped against his lips. Cas eyes had fluttered shut and Dean loved the way those thick, dark lashes lay like down on his cheekbones. 

"You're beautiful." he breathed, only to bite his lip straight after.  _ 'Oh god! How sappy can I get?' _ Cas smiled and his eyes cracked open. Deep blue and amazingly appealing. 

"Dean... how is it that you've changed so much, but still say exactly what you always said to me back home?" Dean smiled back. 

"Cas, I missed you. I missed you, even when I didn't know I did. I dreamed of you, of us, and I couldn't shake the memories." 

Cas lay his head against Dean's pecs, inhaling deeply. "I missed you too, Diniël." 

Dean gasped. "What?" 

Cas looked up at him again. "I said, I missed you."

Dean shook his head. "What did you call me?" 

Cas tilted his head, and Dean sighed at how cute it was, "Oh. I'm so sorry. I shouldn't have. But it is your old name. Please, don't hold it against me if I use it at times. I will try and call you Dean." 

Dean bit his lip. "That's ok, Cas. But I do think we should talk. With Sam here too." 

Cas nodded. "I will wait." He glanced up at Dean, deep blue eyes in stark contrast with his dark lashes. 

"Can... can we cuddle while we wait?" Dean licked his lips and resolutely told his libido  _ 'no' _ . 

"Of course, Cas. C'mere." He pulled the angel in and made them comfortable on his bed.


	29. Chapter 29

Dean looked up when Sam came through the door, balancing coffee and pancakes for two. 

"So, Dean..." he started, but then turned and fell silent. Dean smirked, a bit self-conscious. 

"Sammy, this is..." Sam had put his load down and dragged his bangs out of his eyes. 

"Hiya Cas. So, more recall?" Dean audibly shut his mouth. 

Cas smiled sweetly and nuzzled his hair. "Yes. I dreamwalked again, and he and I sort of reconnected." 

Dean narrowed his eyes. "Wait, you guys know each other?" Gears in his head shifted and suddenly anger was picking up momentum. "So, I did hear him the other day. Sammy, you freaking liar!" 

Sam held up his hands in defense. "Dean, come on... The angels said it was dangerous to just tell you stuff. Your mind could explode." 

Cas untangled himself from Dean, and, angry as he was, Dean felt cold as Cas slid away. "I think the term used was imploding, but that's semantics. Sam is right." 

Dean glared at him, though a tad less heated than the glare he cast Sam right after, "Wait... you said angels, plural. Who else is here? Is it that dick, Michael? I want to give him a piece of my mind..." 

Cas gently put a hand on his tensed up biceps, "No, Dean. And I would advise against it. He is still an Archangel. The first one and pretty powerful." Sam licked his lips and he was... blushing? 

"De, don't get upset but..." With a rush of wings, a golden-haired guy popped in, right in Sam's arms. Dean blinked, taken aback, but then his eyes widened as the dude kissed his little brother right on the mouth. 

"Hi, guys! Be back in a tick, just borrowing Sammy here!" And at that, they were gone. Dean's jaw was hanging loose as he turned to Cas, who looked equally surprised. 

"Cas, what the hell? Did he just... kiss Sam?" 

Cas blinked. "Ehm, yes..." The gravelly voice sounded more cautious than surprised at that fact. 

Dean tilted his head in thought. "Wait a minute.. was that? It was, wasn't it? That dick! Now he's gone and abducted Sammy! God, I hate that Trickster!" 

Cas was looking at him with wide, astonished eyes, "What? Why? What did he ever do to you?" 

Dean's anger was reaching it's peak and he was trembling with it. "I'll tell you what that asshat did! How about pitching Sam and me against each other by having us believe we were pulling pranks? Or the fact that he threw us in a time loop and then killed me, over a hundred times, and poor Sam tried to save me each and every day? Then, for kicks, he breaks the loop, but still kills me! Only after months of being hunted by Sammy did he reverse time once more, but lets me live." He was breathing fire by now and he paced the room nervously. 

"Who knows what he is doing to Sam now..." Cas licked his lips, his eyes concerned. 

"I'm sure Sam will be fine." Dean glared at him. "I can't deny that what he did to you two is less than nice, but I have a feeling this time Sam will enjoy himself."

Dean opened his mouth to vent his opinion on that statement, when Sam and the Trickster popped back in. Dean growled, but a snap of those fingers, and he was pinned against the wall. 

"Sorry, Cassie. Just keeping this sweet ass safe for Shamshine here." Dean swiftly looked at Sam, who looked disheveled, but the good kind. Like he had just been kissed within an inch of his life. A blush covered his cheeks. 

"Shut up. Don't pin this on me." Sam muttered. Dean wriggled, but the hold was secure. 

"What the hell did you do to Sam, butthead?" he growled, causing Cas to gasp. 

"Dean!" The Trickster grinned at him. 

"Still feisty as ever, huh, Dean-o? Don't worry, it was nothing I haven't done before..." 

Sam ducked his head, but was that a... satisfied grin? Dean growled. "Saaaammm... what the Hell is that asshat talking about?" 

Sam didn't look at him, but he frowned at the Trickster instead. "Let him go." It wasn't a request. It was an order, but Sam's eyes weren't the dark grey colour they got when he was angry... they were almost a light green, which was one Dean had never seen before. 

"Sam?" he asked with a worried rise in his voice. The Trickster sighed and turned his golden eyes to Sam. "Alright then...  if he doesn't try and stab me the instant I do." 

Dean scoffed, "Fine. I'll behave." With a pout, and a head tilt that eerily mimicked Cas, the Trickster eyed him up. 

"I believe you will." He snapped his fingers and Dean felt the tight hold disappear. 

"Thank you." he sneered. "Now, could someone, anyone, tell me what is going on here?!"


	30. Chapter 30

Sam sighed. He knew Dean was in his right here. He had been kept in the dark, and now, suddenly, the whole thing was sprung on him. But he should be a bit more civilized towards Gabriel. After all, he was Sam's partner, and Dean was Sam's brother. He hoped they could at least get along.

He breathed a sigh of relief when Dean snapped verbally and gave the whole room the stink eye, "Look, Dean, this all must seem so confusing..."

Dean snarled, "Damn right it does. Why did that asshat..."

Cas frowned and reprovingly scolded him, "Dean! There is no need for that."

Dean merely glared at the angel, although, again, the glare softened somewhat. Sam smiled at that. Dean still loved the angel, even after eons being apart. Just like him and Gabe.

Dean wasn’t about to calm down, however, and he continued as if Cas hadn't spoken. "--just pop in and abduct you? And why do you seem so ok with it? And why do you two look like you had a wrestling match or an EPIC make out?!"

Gabe chuckled, and Sam winced. Not the wisest choice when Dean was this irate. He put a hand on Gabe's shoulder to stop him, "Dean, hear me out. Please."

Dean pressed his lips together and, pissy, sat down his bed, "De... what do you remember about Cas?"

Dean's green eyes darkened and flashed, "Nothing to do with this, Sammy." he growled.

"Humour me, Dean, please." Cas sat down next to Dean and put a hand on his knee.

"Dean, remember my plea." Dean looked at the hand on his knee, then up to Cas' eyes. They stared at each other intensely and long enough to make Sam a bit uncomfortable.

_'Wow.... talk about eye-sexing... Shamshine, tell me we don't do that...’_

Sam bit his lip to stop his grin. _‘Naah. We don't. Otherwise, Dean would have noticed something more already.’_

Dean nodded, “I'm sorry. I remember…” He sighed, trailing a hand through his hair, “Shit, this is gonna sound ridiculous. Alright. I remember him and me being... lovers... in... in Heaven. Ok, go ahead, laugh.”

A deep silence followed his statement, and Dean hardly dared to look up. When he did, all he met were expectant stares. Even the Trickster wasn't grinning. Not a hint of a smile. He popped a sucker in his mouth and was that... sympathy, shining in his eyes?

“What? No snide remarks? No witty slight? Nothing?” The Trickster sighed and popped the sucker out again.

“Dean... anything else? Maybe a superior?” Anger flushed through him, and Dean clenched his fists.

“Michael...” Even he was surprised at the growl that formed the name.

The Trickster stepped back, hands up in a defensive gesture. “Whoa there, feisty pants! Not him... another?”

Dean blinked at the hopeful tone in which the last word was uttered. He flicked his gaze between his brother and the Trickster. They were standing close, their arms almost touching, and if the Trickster would step aside just half a step, he would slot in under Sam’s arm. His mind conjured up an image from his dreams, disturbingly similar. Sam, in tunic and sandals, standing close to--

“Gabriel?” The name tumbled from his lips, as his mind overlaid the image on reality.

The Trickster smirked. “Yahtzee, bucko.”

Dean’s head swam and the room seemed to revolve. Bucko... Another dream memory drifted up. His fall sliding to a drift and being wrapped in warm arms. A voice saying: _"I gotcha, bucko. Just hang in there. We'll figure this out."_

Dean put his head in his hands, “Oh god... you... you caught me... you saved me from falling all the way,” dizziness was starting to blank out the edges of his vision.

“You remember that?” Gabriel sounded amazed. Dean wanted to answer, but the darkness crept up on him and he felt himself sagging.

“Dean!” That was Sammy... Dean wanted to smile and say he was fine, but he slid against a solid warmth and that was all he knew.

Cas caught Dean before he slumped on the floor. “Gabriel... is he ok?”

Sam hated feeling this helpless. “I think so, sweetie pie. Look.”

Gabe pointed at the unconscious form of Dean and Sam followed his gaze. Dean’s wings were out again, wrapped around his body like a foggy cape made of insubstantial feathers.

Cas looked down at Dean and a frown pinched his brow, “I'm not sure, brother. Look at the way he is holding them. He seems scared... or hurt.”

Anxiety seeped into Sam’s mind, _“Gabe!!!”_

Gabe pulled him into a hug. “I'm sure he’s ok, sugarplum. It’s a lot to process for him.” Sam rubbed his cheek over the caramel colored hair.

“Could you check on him, please?” He glanced at the misty wings and silently agreed with Cas. Dean had wrapped himself in them, like a scared child in a blanket.

“I'm not sure I should, Shamshine... He could react violently to my presence in his dreams.” Sam closed his eyes.

 _‘Crap, he_ ' _s right. Dean on the edge is a volatile guy. Who knows what he will do... I don't want Gabe hurt.’_ A soft kiss on his cheek had him open his eyes again.

“Don't worry, **en ozien micaelazodo olapireta**. He's one tough cookie. He'll be ok.” Sam sighed, his mind numb and racing at the same time.

“I trust you, **en mononusa od malpirgi**.” A double gasp made Sam blink and stare at Gabe and Cas in return.

“What?” He questioned, while Gabriel blushed like a schoolgirl, and Cas licked his lips.

“Sam... what did you call my brother?”

Sam frowned, “Call him... I'm sorry, Cas, my head is spinning right now. Tell me what you thought I said.”

Gabe hugged him tighter and pressed his head even closer, “I’ll say your head is spinning... You're speaking Enochian, and you don't even realize it.”

Sam gasped, “I what?” Cas nodded. “Gabriel called you **en ozien micaelazodo olapireta** , which means...”

Sam sighed, “My own mighty light, I know. Lucifer told me.” Gabe shook his head, his hair tickling Sam’s chest.

“No, he didn't, candy bear. Just the **micaelazodo olapireta** part.”

Sam looked down at him, “What?”

Cas cleared his throat, “And that is all he taught you?”

Sam arched his eyebrows, “What are you on about?”

Gabe nuzzled his chest, “You called me ‘my heart and life’... in Enochian. I didn't teach it to you...”

Sam’s heart skipped a beat and he hugged Gabe closer, “True, though.” he whispered into the golden hair.


	31. Chapter 31

**_“Diniël?”_ ** _Dean turned around at the question. The voice that asked it was deep, gravelly and somehow very appealing._

 **_“Yeah?”_ ** _Behind the small but ornate desk, another angel stood. His eyes were shockingly blue and stood in sharp contrast with the dark lashes, unruly dark hair and raven-black wings. When he tilted his head, Dean felt his heart skip a beat._

 **_“I am Castiël, Michael’s personal aide. If you would please take a seat. He will be with you shortly.”_ ** _Castiël sat down behind his desk after that. Dean swallowed hard. The summons from his commander in chief was unexpected, to say the least. As far as he knew, he had done nothing wrong._

 **_“Hey, uhm, Castiël?”_ ** _The dark-haired angel looked up, and again Dean was caught by the blueness of those eyes._

 **_“D’ya.. do you know why he summoned me?”_ ** _Sitting up straight, Castiël looked him right in his eyes._

 **_“I am sorry. I usually do not give out such information.”_ ** _Dean licked his lips and lowered his gaze._

 **_“But,”_ ** _the other angel continued,_ **_“usually, people just sit down and don't talk to me.”_ ** _Dean smiled._

 **_“Why not? You seem to be a nice guy.”_ ** _Castiël lowered his eyes to the desk, a pink flush to his cheeks._

 **_“Thank you. I think most people just forget I am here. They think I am part of the office.”_ ** _Dean frowned._

 **_“What, like a desk or chair? Screw them. Anytime I'm called here, we’re gonna have a talk, until Mr. Michael shows his mug.”_ ** _The pink blush got darker and next to his eyes, little lines creased._

 **_“Thank you, Diniël. I appreciate that.”_ ** _Dean walked up to the desk, forcing Castiël to look up at him._

 **_“So, Cas... you been his assistant long?”_ ** _Castiël blinked._

 **_“Cas?”_ ** _Dean smirked at his confusion._

 **_“Yeah. Less of a mouthful. You can call me Din if you like. A lot of people do. My brother Shamsiël for one. I call him Shammy.”_ ** _The pink mouth quirked a little around the corners._

 **_“I take it you do that a lot, shorten one’s name. But I like it.”_ ** _The door to the next office burst open and Michael stepped out, looking at the seats in the opposite corner. Then he looked around a displeased frown on his face._

 **_“Castiel did Dini...”_ ** _His voice faded out. Surprised he stared at Dean as if he didn't expect him there._

 **_“Diniël. There you are. I need your assistance. I think the way this tribal war is going, a lot of children might be in danger.”_ ** _Winking at Cas, Dean followed his commander._

The memory/dream dissolved, and a new one formed.

 _Dean felt his heart thump as he knocked on the door._ **_“Enter.”_ **

_The gravelly voice skipped Deans aural track and lodged itself in his heart. He pushed the door open._

**_“Heya, Cas.”_ ** _Cas’dark-hairedd head shot up and the start of a smile teased around his mouth._ **_“Hello, Din. Another summon?”_ **

_Dean smirked.,_ **_“Yeah. Starting to feel like he can’t decide what to do about kids, without calling me.”_ **

_Cas’ smile broke through,_ **_“Well, I am glad he does.”_ ** _Dean’s heart nearly jumped out of his chest, it beat so fast._

 **_“Yeah?”_ ** _he croaked out, not daring to voice his hopes._

 **_“Yes. I love our talks together.”_ ** _He got up from his chair and walked over to where Dean stood rooted to the floor. Up so close, Dean could almost count Cas’ lashes. A pink dusting covered Cas’ cheeks._

 **_“Actually, I love all our time together,”_ ** _he whispered. Dean’s gaze flicked to those pink lips._

 **_“Yeah?”_ ** _He swallowed._

 **_“Me too,”_ ** _he whispered back, feeling his head tilt towards those lips. Cas tilted the other way and suddenly their mouths were softly pressed together._

 **_“Mmmmh.”_ ** _Dean was not sure who made the sound, but he pressed in harder, his hands cupping the dark head and Cas responded. After a while, Dean pulled back, running a thumb over Cas’ bottom lip._

 **_“Oh my...”_ ** _Cas sighed, and Dean could only agree._

 _Cas looked amazing, his eyes were even more beautiful now they were darker, and his lips were puffed a little and even more pink._ **_“You're beautiful, Cas.”_ **

_Cas stepped back, blushing,_ **_“You're just saying that,”_ ** _he said, his long fingers twisting in the hem of his tunic._

 _Dean frowned,_ **_“No, I mean it. You're so beautiful, you make my heart skip a beat when I see you.”_ **

_Looking up through his lashes, Cas stared at him._ **_“Really?”_ **

_Dean pecked a kiss on his brow. “_ **_Really.”_ **

_A pleased blush crept up Cas’ neck. Suddenly his blue eyes flashed open, a panicked look in them._ **_“Din.. we can’t! Not here... I'm working... and Michael...”_ **

_Dean cursed himself internally, of course, this wasn't good. Michael would never allow them to stand there, kissing like that, not in public and not when there was work to be done. He rubbed his face with both hands, trying to will himself into another mindset._

_Cas still looked beautifully ruffled and Dean swallowed hard,_ **_“Cas, buddy, you might wanna straighten yourself out. You look somewhat disheveled.”_**

_Cas gave a squawk and hurriedly rearranged his tunic and rubbed his lips. Dean smiled but clasped his hands behind his back. No telling what would happen if he gave in to the urge to help Cas out. Cas sat down behind his desk, his face stoïc. Dean let out an admiring sigh. He knew he could stoneface, but Cas was a master!_

_The doors to the other office banged open again, and Michael appeared. **“Diniël! Glad you're here. Come... this one has me baffled.”**_

_Dean sighed and he dragged himself away from Cas. **“Yes, Michael.”**_

Again the image faded out to form into a new one.

 ** _“Honestly, Diniël, I don't know why I still haven’t reassigned Castiël. He was told to tell me when you arrived.”_** _Dean licked his lips and bit down on the lower. He knew why Cas hadn't told Michael. They had been a bit busy. If Gabriel hadn't come in, they might still have been kissing when Michael popped in._

 **_“I had just entered, sir. I think Castiël is a good aide.”_ ** _Dean defended him._

 **_“He has your things in order, doesn't he?”_ ** _Michael glanced at him._

 **_“That is true. The little Seraph does have it all neatly filed and such, but he forgets to tell me when people arrive.”_ ** _Dean’s lips pressed into a thin line._

 _Michael was always so negative about Cas._ **_“I think I keep him on out of pity. Those black wings, you know... He was a great warrior, but those wings, they gave him away. So I gave him a desk job.”_ **

_Dean huffed,_ **_“Yeah, well, they do have a rare color. I like them.”_ ** _he caught Michael’s eyes narrowing._

 **_“I guess they are different. Yours are nicer though, Diniël. The sandy color blends in better.”_ ** _Dean pulled his wings closer, folding them firmly against his back._

 **_“Thank you, sir.”_ ** _Not at ease with the conversation, Dean cleared his throat, but Michael kept talking._

 **_“See, Diniël, Castiël, he gets distracted. Sometimes he hardly notices when someone comes in.”_ ** _Dean tightened his jaw._

**_“I guess that is because he is engrossed in his work, sir. I never have trouble, but then again, I tend to knock. Once, Gabriel just walked in. I can see how Castiël could not notice that.”_ **

_Michael rubbed his jaw._ **_“Yes... that is a fair point.”_ **

_Sensing his chance, Dean tapped on the desk._ **_“But I'm sure you didn't call me in to talk about your personal aide.”_ **

_Michael smiled at him._ **_“You are right, Diniël. Come, I will show you.”_ ** _He stepped into Dean’s personal space like it didn't exist. Dean stiffened, but since it was Michael, and he wanted to show him something, Dean didn't comment._

**_“See these villages? I think they might be too close to these marshes... A disease could wipe out a whole generation. And children would be the most vulnerable...”_ **

******

Dean moaned and scrunched up his nose in his sleep.

Cas stroked his hair worryingly, “I could go...” he offered, “He isn't upset with me.”

Sam and Gabriel gaped at him, then Sam blushed. “Yeah, yeah, you could do that. God, I am sorry. I nearly forgot...”

Cas smiled at him, “That's ok, Sam. You were otherwise occupied.” He pulled Dean on the bed and lay down next to him.

“Just don't wake him. I want to make sure he isn’t hurt.” Castiel stated and made himself comfortable next to Dean.


	32. Chapter 32

_Dean sighed and shifted from foot to foot. He hated formal gatherings. They had been standing to attention for ten minutes already, and Michael, the very angel who had ordered to meet, hadn't shown a feather yet. From where he stood, Dean could see the raised dais, where Lucifer, Raphael, and Gabriel stood, each with an expression of extreme boredom on their face._

_If he stretched his neck and strained his eyes, he could see from their corner how Cas was standing at the side, obviously ill at ease._ **_‘Huh, Mike was right. His wings do stand out... I love them! I bet if he spreads those babies in a threat... Whoa, that would be amazing!’_ **

_A pleasant chill chased along his spine, and he sighed again. Finally, Michael came in sight. He strode right past Cas, snatching some parchment from his fingers. Cas flinched and even from his point of view, Dean could see his wings droop a little, and anger flooded him. Michael may be in a bad mood, but he could be polite towards Cas at least. He had run the poor guy ragged, the last few days. Anytime Dean had seen him, he had looked tired and drawn._

**_“Angels all! I have an important announcement.”_ ** _Michael stood straight, his hands, with the papers, clasped behind his back._

 **_“I have received word that one of Father’s basic rules is broken very regularly.”_ ** _Dean felt unease rise in his stomach._

 **_“Several of you have set another above the rest. Before he left, Father demanded that we love equally. This means no angel should be held above the others.”_ ** _Dean bit back an angry growl and he felt his nose scrunched up and his lip curl._

 _How could he demand that? He loved Cas so much more than any other, and Shamsiël, his brother, he meant everything. Way more than any soldier he had served with, or any clerk in the big office he hadn't even met. He jumped when a_ _hand landed on his shoulder. Next to him stood Cas. Wingless Cas in his trenchcoat and suit._

_Confused, Dean stretched his neck to see Cas, in his tunic, with his wings out, standing next to the dais, a look of horror on his face. He turned back to Wingless Cas, who looked sad, and empathic._

**_“Dean... I'm sorry. I wish all memories from home were pleasant ones.”_ ** _Dean heard an undignified squeak come from his throat, and he pulled Cas into a hug, folding his wings around him, hiding him from the rest._

 **_“Cas... Cas, I'm sorry...”_ ** _He wanted to say so much more, but his mind ground to a halt when Cas pressed his lips to his temple and whispered:_ **_“Look at them, the Archangels... something is off.”_ **

_Dean whipped around and stared at the dais. Lucifer looked livid, Gabriel shocked and scared, even stone-faced Raphael frowned. He turned back to Cas._

**_“What the hell is going on?”_ ** _Cas licked his lips, his blue eyes trailing over the crowd._

 **_“I think this is what caused a lot of trouble. Look at Lucifer, he is beyond angry. I remember this. After the meet, Lucifer was irate. He snapped at Michael, which was a rarity before. He was very upset that Michael had made this decree without consulting any of his direct brothers. Most arguments between them, after this meeting, were about this decree.”_ ** _Dean gasped._

 _Michael hadn't even talked about this to his own brothers? On the dais, Michael was still droning on and Dean tried to pay attention again._ **_“So... from this day forward, all angels are brothers and sisters, to be loved equally, like Father wants.”_ **

_Gabriel stepped towards his older brother,_ **_“Mike, what are you even saying? Come on. This is an unreachable goal.”_ **

_Michael glared at him._ **_“It’s what Father demanded!”_ **

_Gabriel lowered his golden wings placatingly,_ **_“Come on, Mikey.... I think Dad might have said that to..”_ **

_Michael didn’t even let him finish,_ **_“How would you know what he meant? You were too busy playing with the fledgelings, when he left.”_ ** _he snapped and turned on his heel._

 _Dean had never seen Gabriel look so hurt in his life. Lucifer stepped up to him and put a consoling hand on his shoulder. Gabriel turned and hugged the Morningstar, burying his face against his chest. Even from this far, Dean could see the thunder brewing on Lucifer’s face. Again that hand on his shoulder. “_ **_Come, Dean... We need to talk.”_ **

*******

Dean gasped and shot upright. His gaze fell on Cas, stretched out next to him, his deep blue eyes open.,“I am sorry, but I thought that memory would have been quite enough. Did you have any others?”

Dean rubbed his face, “Yeah... a few.” he smiled at the angel, “Mostly good ones though, about us.”

Cas blushed, “I am pleased to hear that.” Dean ran a hand along Cas’ cheek and his eyes grew soft. A cleared throat had him snap out of it.

“I'm sorry, guys.” His eyes landed on Gabriel, and he remembered the hurt he had last seen on that face. “Gabe... I'm sorry.”

Gabriel pulled up one corner of his mouth. “Really, bud? What brought that on?”

Dean gestured at him, as he sat on Sam’s lap. “This... I get the feeling I'm the cause of all of it.”

Gabriel closed his eyes, smirk vanishing,“Don't blame yourself, Dean. Even if you hadn't fallen for Cassie yet, would you have reciprocated Michael’s feelings?”

Dean’s mind stopped. “Wait, what?”

Even Cas stared at Gabriel now, “You mean to say....”

A trickster smile on his face, Gabriel nodded. “Yup. Good old Mikey had a bit of a crush on you, bucko.”

Dean scoffed, “Yeah right.”

What he didn't expect, was for Sam to speak up. “He’s right, Dean. Even Lucifer said so.”

Digging his pinky in his ear, Dean blinked at him,“There must be something in my ear... Lucifer? Lucifer, as in the Devil, the Morningstar, the guy who rebelled against God?”

Sam nodded, his face guarded, “And he said that... to you?” an almost imperceptible nod.

“When the heck did you two meet?” Dean exclaimed.

Gabriel coughed, “I er... I took him to see Luci. I had my suspicions about the big fight for a while, and something Sam said, made me want to visit him, get answers.”

Dean felt his protective big brother side flare up, “In what reality did that seem like a good plan? The guy turned his back on all of you, because he hated humans!”

Sam sighed, “Actually, he did not. He got sent to Hell, because he didn't want to have to love angels he hadn't even met as much as his own brothers, or even you and me. It seems we knew the Archangels up close--” he glanced at Gabe “--and personal.” Dean remembered the anger on Lucifer’s face as Gabriel had hugged him, and he knew Sam was telling the truth.


	33. Chapter 33

“God, I'm tired.” Dean sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose between his thumb and index finger. Just that gesture told Sam his brother was bone tired indeed. 

“Archangels, angels, deal due in a few months... it’s all a bit much,” he mumbled. 

Gabriel bounced of Sam’s knees and startled both Sam and Dean with the sudden movement. “Good news on the last issue!” 

Sam widened his eyes. “Was that where you went?” he asked, hope searing. 

Gabe beamed at them. “HELLS yeah! I couldn't let the demons get their grubby claws on our Dean, could I?” 

When Dean scoffed, Sam wanted to slap him up the back of his head. “Sure, and you just happened to get me out of that contract...” 

Gabe tilted his head, smirk in place, eyes twinkling, and Sam wanted to kiss him stupid. “Not quite yet, bucko, but if you and Shamshine here are game, we can settle it right away.” 

Cas sat up, blue eyes alarmed, “What are you going to do?” 

Gabe patted him on the back, “Relax, baby bro. You can come too! Come on, group hug!” 

He pulled them all up into his arms and squeezed. “Hold on to your stomach, lads! This is going to be bumpy!” 

Sam’s guts wrenched as he anticipated where they would go, and how they would get there. Dean held on to Cas and his brother and squeezed his eyes shut. A dry chuckle - Gabe's by the sound of it - had him relax a bit, but he kept his eyes shut. 

“Hey, chucklehead... we’re here!” Gasping calming breaths, and willing his dinner down, Dean opened his eyes warily. A minimalistically decorated room greeted him.

“What the.... where are we?” Sam’s mouth quirked in a dry semblance of a smile. “Hell, actually.” 

At his side, Dean could hear Cas gasp, “Wait, what?” 

Another chuckle sounded behind the little group and Dean swiftly turned to see a lanky guy sauntering up to them. His breath caught and his brain went static as he gazed into the face of the second Archangel. 

“Gabriel, brother, you just keep bringing more mud to--” Lucifer’s sentence died out and he squinted his eyes, “Castiël? Is that you?” 

Dean could hear the disbelief and the well-hidden relief in that question. Cas squared his shoulders and glared at Lucifer. “Lucifer... you haven’t changed much.” 

Lucifer chuckled again and an easy grin split his face, “Thank you. You have though. No longer the meek, subservient little secretary, are you?” 

Cas tried to stand in front of Dean, his stance protective, “Not really, no.” Exasperation and love fought in Dean’s chest. He put his hand on Cas’ shoulder, “Cas... we’re fine, bud. Gabe must have a very good reason to bring us here, and he must be certain we’re safe.” in his mind, Dean added: _ ‘He wouldn't put Sammy in danger.’  _

Cas relaxed his stance a little bit, and Dean gasped when he heard that gravelly voice in his thoughts, replying:  _ ‘You're right, Dean. Gabriel wouldn't risk either of you. _ ’ 

Dean breathed out slowly and whispered: _ “You heard that?” _

Cas smiled but kept his eyes on the Archangel.  _ ‘Yes. Let’s let Gabriel run the show. We don’t know what he has planned.’ _

Lucifer let his eyes scan each and every person there. Then he smiled widely and exclaimed, “Sam! Nice to see you again.” 

Gabriel tensed, swallowing his fear and addressing his older brother, “Luci... We’re here to show you why this little sibling spat of you and Mike can’t take place as you planned.” 

Lucifer sauntered over to his chair and, as he slumped down in it, invitingly said: “Alright then, brothers and mud-monkeys, have a seat and explain away.” 

Gabe wanted to punch the smug little smirk off his face but snapped his fingers to add another sofa, so Dean and Cas could sit too. Once they all sat, he sighed and looked over to his big brother. To his surprise, he caught Lucifer smiling softly at Cas, who kept glaring at him. 

“So, Castiël, how’s the search for the two brothers going? Frustrating, I bet.” 

Gabe scoffed at the sarcastic tone in Lucifer’s voice. 

Cas merely raised his eyebrows and said: “I suggest we get to business, Lucifer. I believe Gabriel has some things to tell.” 

Chuckling, Gabriel ignored the impressed raised eyebrows Lucifer showed, and popped a sucker in his mouth, “So, Luci, you promised me to stop your temper tantrum with Mike, if I could give you one good reason why your designated vessels are unfit, right?” 

He kept his tone light, but tension thrummed through his body. Lucifer nodded, hands steepled in front of him. “Indeed I did, brother. And having an infatuation with one isn't good enough.” 

Sam fidgeted, but Gabe put his hand on his knee and calmed him. “Really, Luci. I thought you knew me better. I don't do infatuations. I fall, or not. And I have only fallen once.”

He tightened his hand briefly on Sam’s knee as Lucifer smirked nastily. “Yeah. So did he... Anyway, pray tell me: why shouldn't I try and convince Samuel here to let me in?” 

Returning his smirk, Gabe held up his hand and snapped his fingers.


	34. Chapter 34

Sam tensed. Lucifer was indeed convinced he was his true vessel, but they didn't look alike, not one bit. He should see that, shouldn't he? He wriggled on the sofa, but Gabe put his hand on his knee and kept him still. 

Concern coursed through Sam’s body and with trepidation, he watched his love raise a hand and snap his fingers. Everything slowed to a grinding halt and sped up at the same time. To Sam, it felt as a door which had been nailed shut since before his birth was wide open, and something bright and pulsating burst free. 

His shoulders got pulled back, arching his back, his being filled with warmth, love, and power. He saw Gabriel, not just his vessel, but also his light. A rich, golden glow, tinted with flecks of copper. Gabriel’s smirk slid off his face, to be replaced with loving awe. In his mind, Gabriel’s voice rang out like a gong.  _ ‘There you are, micaelozoda olapireta. I missed that grace.’ _

Dean followed the conversation between the Archangels with mounting unease. Gabe was up to something, and Cas knew it too. His angel was tensing up beside him and he surreptitiously rubbed Cas’ back. 

A grateful hum came from Cas, whose eyes were glued on the Archangels. When Gabriel raised his hand, fingers poised to snap, Cas started to rise, a protest rolling from his lips, but Gabriel snapped and the world froze while speeding up. 

Dean felt his back tingle as if he was fully relaxed, and a miniature sun expanded in his core, filling him up and overflowing. He turned his head towards Cas and gasped. A bright blue light glowed from within his love and the cerulean starbursts in it resembled his eyes, “Cas... you're beautiful!” 

Dean gasped, and with that the whole world lurched, the frozen part speeding up, the sped up bit slowing down, until, with a big pulse, they met. It bowled over Cas and the Archangels, who had somehow gotten to their feet whilst time was frozen yet sped up. 

“There. Reason enough, brother?” Gabriel quipped from the floor. Dean turned to him and saw his grace too. It was impressive but nowhere near as appealing as Cas’. Sam knelt down next to Gabe, concern pulsing in his grace, which was as bright as the sun, but with swirls of changing green and grey. Like Sammy's hazel eyes, they couldn't decide on a color. Curious, Dean turned towards Lucifer and shivered. Lucifer’s Grace flickered icy blue with pulsating globs of midnight, ringed with angry, indigo coronas, where bright, pale blue starbursts used to be. “Well, that's new... you got those from your time here, or your anger with Dad?”

Sam felt the ‘whoomp’ with which the world rearranged itself, but it blew around him like a breeze, therefore he was surprised to see it tip over the two Archangels and the Seraph like bowling pins. 

Worried, he looked over to his brother, but Dean just stood there, his stance relaxed, his eyes misted over slightly and his grace curling around him like morning mist in a forest. It was a soft, green vapor, with darker green swirls flowing through it. Knowing Dean was fine, he knelt next to Gabe, who was wearing a shit-eating grin and sassed his big brother where he was sprawled on the floor. A quick thought was enough to reassure him the Archangel was fine. Sam could feel the tension and worry seep out of him, only to return full tilt when Dean opened his big mouth. Quickly, Sam turned, to see Lucifer scrambling to his feet. 

The Archangel gave Dean the elevator look, before swinging his head to Sam, “Diniël? Shamsiël? What....” The Lightbringer narrowed his eyes dangerously. 

“Gabriel.... What did you do, brother? You can’t have them occupying our vessels, that's unethical, if not downright rude!” Gabriel eyed him with an exasperated look. 

“Luci... come on. Look closer, look harder. Have you ever seen grace swirl like Din’s, or have other colors in it, not other hues, other colors, like Shamsiël?” 

Lucifer studied Sam closely, his eyes darting all over. He blanched. “It’s like... souls?” 

He turned his terrified eyes on Gabe, “What did you do, brother? Why are their Graces like this?” 

From the corner of his eyes, Sam saw Dean pick up Cas and hold him close. Gabe smirked and languidly sank back on the sofa, “Well, finally. Let me tell you, brother. It’s a thrilling tale.”

 

 

 


	35. Chapter 35

Lucifer was tapping his steepled index fingers to his pursed lips. “This is bad, Gabriel. You know that, right? Michael and all of Heaven will be trying to get Armageddon started once Din... Dean is in Hell.”

His blue eyes flicked over to the other sofa, where Cas and Dean were sitting close, Graces touching. Gabriel sighed. “I know. Castiël informed us that Sam and Dean are considered to be the Two True Vessels. That is why I want you to rip up Dean’s contract. Except for Lilith, you're the only one who can.”

Lucifer tilted his head in question, “Lilith has his contract? How odd. Her death was supposed to be the last seal. Who would get it afterward?”

Gabe took a big bite out of his chocolate bar and munched in thought. “Hm. I understood it would be Crowley...”

From the corner of his eyes, Gabe saw Sam’s grace sneak a tendril over to him. _‘Not now, sugar lips. I know you're worried, and want to know everything, but I'm talking to Luci. Gotta keep my wits about.’_

Sam flushed adorably and looked at his knees. Lucifer scoffed. “Crowley? That two-bit salesman? I should hope not.”

Cas cleared his throat. “If I may... whilst I was in Heaven, I took the liberty of checking my file. It was still there and I was curious as to what I might have been told to do, had I stayed. I was supposed to pull Dean out of Hell, and help him say ‘yes’ to Michael.”

Gabe spread his hands, “There you have it, bro. Pulling a soul out makes the contract null and void.” Lucifer sat back, tapping his lips with his finger.

“Well. That's all off the table now, isn't it?” He straightened, “How could Heaven ever decide that these two were The Vessels?”

Gabe tilted his head with a proud pout, “I did my job well enough. For anyone but me, they were human. I was the only one who knew.”

Nodding, Lucifer looked the brothers over, “Well, all I can say is: Congratulations and Dadspeed.” He sat back languidly, snapped his fingers and a vellum scroll appeared. With another snap, the scroll went up in flames and Lucifer smirked, “I love pulling one over on Michael.”

Dean was worried about Cas being here. He and Cas had unwillingly started this whole ordeal. Lucifer might decide to have a little payback, now he had them there. He didn't care about his hide, but Cas... But Lucifer didn't even look at them crossly. He just listened to his little brother and the indigo coronas in his grace dimmed to slivers.

A bit anxious, Dean coached Cas to sit down, and he followed suit. Vaguely he noticed that he sat closer to Cas than he ever sat to anyone, but his main focus was on the snarky Archangel in the seat. When Cas spoke up, his voice was even, if still gravelly. Dean’s insides warmed up and once again he had to stifle his libido. _‘Noooo. Not the time, Winchester... Concentrate on the reaction of the actual Devil in your presence... God... I'm chatting with the Devil. How is this my life?’_

He caught Lucifer looking him and Sam over, and he tensed. Yet all the Devil did, was lean back into his chair and snap his fingers. The scroll that appeared, tugged at Dean. He wanted to grab it and keep it safe, so when the next snap set it alight, Dean gasped, but at the same time, that tug vanished and Dean felt lighter than before.

Lucifer had given him, and Sam, his blessing and now his soul, grace... whatever, was his again. He glanced at Lucifer, who was smiling. Taken aback, Dean licked his lips.

“Relax, Diniël, my beef was never with you or Shamsiël, or even the human race. Michael could have taught Göbbels on propaganda, so don't feel bad for your prejudice, but don't pity me either. I'm actually pretty comfy here, and if you, Castiël, Shamsiël or Gabriel, or any of our other brethren want to visit, then please do. I’ll have drinks.” Lucifer stated, relaxing in his chair.

Despite himself, Dean smiled. “I'm not saying we’ll pop in every week, but I think I might just visit. You're not that bad.”

The indigo coronas dimmed even more, and Lucifer smirked, “Do pass the word on. I like my privacy, but a talk now and then is nice.”

Silently, Gabriel got to his feet, and hugged his brother, “Thank you, Luci.” he quietly muttered against the Devil’s chest.

Lucifer smiled warmly, “No, Thank you, Gabriel, for believing in me.”

Once they were back in their motel room, Sam leaded Gabriel out the door and cast Dean a glance over his shoulder. Knowing Sam as well as he did, Dean read it like a fat, printed headline. _‘Going to get our own room. Use your time well.’_

Dean smirked and he watched Sam wrapped his Grace around Gabriel’s and closed the door behind them. He turned towards his angel and smiled.

“Cas...” Cas snapped his head up, Dean felt his libido roar inside him.Cas looked adorable and incredibly hot at the same time. Those cerulean eyes made his heart buzz and his insides liquefy. He sat down on the bed, patting the blanket for Cas to sit down next to him.

Cas complied and sat down, deep inside Dean’s personal space, but Dean couldn't care less.

“Cas, are... are you still...” His mind stuttered, going to static.

Castiel looked him straight in the eyes, “I still think you are an amazing person. You're still Diniël, but with extra layers of emotion and humanity. You're Diniël at the base, but mostly you're Dean. And I find that very attractive.”

Dean’s cheeks burned with a blush and he looked down at his knees, “Oh, you know...” he looked back up through his lashes, “Lucifer is right. You’ve changed too. You're tougher, more independent. A lone wolf, badass warrior angel.” The blush intensified, but Dean could tell it wasn't from being embarrassed. He was getting turned on. Now he could see Cas’ grace again, he could also see his wings, and they were puffing out. He reached out and cupped the stubbled cheek.

“Cas, can I kiss you?” Cas gasped, his pink lips opening slightly, and Dean pulled him in, softly pressing their lips together.


	36. Chapter 36

From the corner of his sight, Dean saw Cas’ black wings snap out, folding around them. It was so reminiscent of their time in Heaven, that Dean wasn't even surprised to see sandy feathers mingle with the black. He moaned. This all felt so good. 

Pressing Cas down onto the bed, he straddled the angel’s hips. Cas’ blue eyes fluttered shut and a blush covered his cheeks. 

“Dean...” he moaned, his hands running up Dean’s sides. 

The sound of his name in that gravelly voice shot straight past the ears and into his gut. He pressed his mouth on Cas’ again, this time harder, more desperate. Cas gasped against his lips and Dean took full advantage of it. He slipped his tongue past those pink lips and licked into the angel’s mouth. 

The soft moan that sounded deep in Cas’ throat, reverberated over Dean’s tongue and his mind went to static. His hands pawed at the trenchcoat, while his tongue kept slipping in and out of Cas’ mouth. Cas slipped off the coat and Dean’s as well. _ ‘Oh.. oh god! He is just as into it as I am...’ _ Dean blindly took care of the tie, idly noting that he didn't want it out of reach, and his hands went to work on the shirt buttons. He’d just popped the second one when a slender hand lightly landed on his. 

“Dean...” He pulled back a bit. Cas was looking at him, a sincere look. “Aren’t we comfortable enough yet?” He tilted his head in curious wonder, and Dean had to swallow hard. His hands had run through the dark hair, making it ruffled and definitely sexy. That, combined with the wide-eyed, innocent look, the flushed cheeks, and the spit-slick, slightly puffed lips, made Cas into sex personified. 

Dean huffed out a laugh, “We could be so much more comfortable, angel...” he rasped out, his heart pounding. Had they never gone beyond kissing back...home? It didn't feel like home, and Dean cussed out his brain for wanting to go there  now , of all times. Come to think of it, Cas was probably still a virgin, and Holy Hell if that didn't fan his flames. He sat up, hand still pinned under Cas’ slender fingers.  “Cas...” 

Cas smiled. “I like when you say my name like that. I get all warm...” 

Dean tried to swallow a bone-dry throat. His mind went blank, which was probably why his mouth ran off. “Cas, I want you... I need you. I want to have sex with you, so bad.”

Cas noted how Dean’s wings popped out as he pushed Cas back on the bed, and he was happy about it. He had missed them. He wanted to run his fingers through the plumage like he used to, but he wasn't sure Dean would approve. Then Dean sat on top of him, those wings spread wide in a show of dominance, and his vessel’s heart started thumping wildly. “Dean...” 

His hands seemed to have a will of their own, and slid up Dean’s sides towards those beautiful wings, when suddenly, Dean pressed even closer and did that wonderful thing with his tongue in Cas’ mouth again. Cas couldn't stop the moan if he’d wanted to. Dean ran his hands through Cas’ hair and Cas was torn between letting the kissing continue just so or tilting his head back into those strong hands. This way of kissing made him lose quite a few of his cognitive abilities. He vaguely noticed Dean trying to get the trenchcoat off.  _ ‘What a smart man he is... we will be more comfortable without our coats.’  _ Not sure why Dean had trouble removing the clothing, he did it himself and handled Dean’s coat in the same go. 

Dean hummed softly against his mouth, and those tanned, scarred fingers slipped off the tie too. Cas appreciated it. He knew it was proper clothing, and pretty inconspicuous, but he never liked wearing it. His thoughts ground to a halt when Dean popped open a button on his white dress shirt. The thumping of his heart sounded loud in his ears. Another button got opened and curiosity overruled the tight feeling in his gut. He put his hand over the hunter’s strong fingers, ignoring the thrill that swept through him at the touch. 

The warmth that radiated from those viridian eyes, made Cas almost regret asking anything. The loving way Dean said ‘angel’ in that gruff voice... Cas felt his heart swell. He could feel Dean’s eyes sweep over his body, and... wasn't it curious that he didn't think of it as a vessel anymore? Dean’s gruff voice, rasping out his name, pulled him out of those thoughts. Warmth pooled in him at the sound, and he commented on that. Dean’s eyes glazed over and his lips, a bit puffed but all the more desirable to kiss, parted slightly. “Cas, I want you... I need you. I want to have sex with you, so bad.” Cas felt his cheeks burn and his heart stutter. All he could do was punch out a surprised: “Oh...”

Dean cursed himself out.  _ ‘Of course. That's just how you handle a virgin. Blurt out that you want to fuck them...’  _ He regrouped and forced his hands to stay still on the angel’s chest. 

“O-of course, if you don't wanna, I can...” Yeah, he could, but he didn't want to. 

Cas blinked a few times, and Dean was about to get off him and have some personal time in the shower, when Cas licked his lips slowly and let go of his hand, “I--I never thought about it, Dean. But, if you don't mind, I would like to try.” 

Heat rushed through Dean, lighting his cheeks and probably his ears and neck too.  _ ‘Oh god!’  _ His mind went on strike again and he just stared at the angel beneath him, spread out, wings stretched to the sides, grace tinting pink along the edge. 

Cas frowned a bit, uncertainty coloring his voice. “Dean? If, if you don't want to continue...” That jumpstarted his brain.

_ ‘Hell no! Not letting this slip away!’  _ He smiled and cupped Cas’ cheek. “I do want to go on, angel... I do. I’ll be gentle.” 

Cas covered his hand again, leaning his head into the touch. “Good. I want you to go on too... but Dean...” His deep blue eyes locked onto Dean’s. 

“Don't hold back... I liked what you were doing before.” Smiling, Dean leaned in, never breaking the eye contact. “I can do that...” 

Cas parted his lips, anticipating a kiss, but Dean bypassed his mouth and whispered into the angel’s ear, “You look so beautiful, Cas. And you're all mine...” 

Cas gasped, wings twitching beneath them, “I'm gonna mark you up, angel. Show everyone I'm the only one who gets to see you like this.” 

Cas started to breathe heavily, his eyes losing focus, and Dean ran his nose over Cas’ jaw, giving kitten licks along his jawline. Cas seemed frozen, except for his ragged breathing and twitching wings. Dean smirked against the soft skin and kissed along that slender neck. 

“Do you mind if I put my mark... here?” He kissed just sly of Cas’ Adam's apple. The soft keen that escaped Cas, vibrated against Dean’s lips. 

“Guess not...” He let his tongue wet the spot before pressing his lips on it again, making Cas gasp. Ignoring everything else, Dean sucked and nibbled and licked his mark on Cas. Cas started writhing, moaning, gasping and keening. 

“D... Dean!” Dean pulled off, eyeing his work with a satisfied smirk. One last kitten lick and he sat up. 

“Yes?” Cas’ breathing was ragged and rasping, and Dean fucking loved it. “C--can I, can I return the favor?”


	37. Chapter 37

The possessive tone in Dean’s voice had tingles shoot through Cas, and he couldn't think clearly anymore. His vision blurred when Dean muttered about marking him. Cas was unsure how that would work, but the idea made his breathing falter. 

The slide of Dean’s nose along his jaw and the quick, wet flicks of his tongue on the soft flesh of his throat only had it get more ragged. He could feel his wings tug beneath him. He wanted to spread them, give Dean access to them fully, but his weight kept them half folded. 

The press of Dean’s lips to his throat distracted him from his wings.  _ Right there _ ... it made his heart stutter, thinking Dean would mark him in such an obvious place, and he made a noise deep down. The licking and following kiss took his breath away and warm jolts shot through his whole body, while Dean kissed, and sucked and Cas felt his mind blank out when he felt teeth scrape. He didn't even register that he had spoken until Dean pulled off and sat up. 

The want, no the  _ need _ to do the same to Dean, burned in his stomach. The punched out little noise Dean made at his question only made it stronger. 

“Fuck, yes. Cas. I’d love it.” Dean flipped them over and bared his neck. Cas swallowed at such a blatant display of submission, but the need to kiss it, mark it as his own burned deep, and Cas moved like lightning. 

He pressed his lips on that lean stretch of skin and muscle and felt his wings rise up and out in a show of dominance. Dean’s breath hitched and he shuddered softly, “Fuck, Cas. Your wings... I knew it. They are amazing.” 

His own wings folded to his body and Cas growled. “Mmmm. Mine. Dean, my hunter.” 

Dean gasped, punching out a strangled, “Yes. I'm yours, Cas.” 

Cas emulated Dean and kissed, then sucked and bit, while Dean gasped and moaned beneath him. It made a fire run through Cas’ veins to see Dean, his precious hunter, his Diniël, so submissive and eager. His sandy wings rustled but stayed down.

Cas was suddenly grabbed by the want, the need to see Dean without clothes. He pulled back, noticing Dean’s glazed eyes and flushed cheeks. His grace was ringed by the same pink tinge and Cas thought he’d never seen anything more beautiful. 

“Cas? What's wrong?” Dean asked, his cheeks still rosy, but his eyes clear and concerned. 

“D...Dean... please... I need... off.” His brain supplied the need, the desire, but the words got lost somehow. Dean smiled and swiftly those beautiful, strong hands popped open the rest of the buttons on Cas’ shirt. 

Cas just sat there, trying to regain a modicum of calm, but when those hands slid under the shirt and pulled up the white T-shirt, he arched his back, pressing his body against those warm hands. 

“Mmmm. Like that, huh angel? A little skin-on-skin.” Dean’s voice was low and sultry. 

Cas nodded, looking down on him. “You... off... need to...” Somehow his speech still wasn't working, but Dean smirked slyly and slowly pulled his black undershirt up by the hem. The tan strip of belly grew teasingly slow, and Cas couldn't stop staring at it. 

It became a full belly, then Dean's ribs joined, and pecs and the stark black of a tattoo. Cas couldn’t stop his hand. Trembling slightly, it touched the dark lines, just with the tips of his fingers. Dean rose slightly and pulled off his shirts. He was gorgeous. Cas’ eyes found the purplish bruise on Dean’s neck and he gasped. “Did I do that?”

“Did I do that?” Dean smirked,  “Sure did, angel, sure did.” The slender hand that had been lying on his chest, so enticingly close to his nipple, got pressed against the chapped lips. 

“No. Did... did I hurt you?” Cas actually sounded shocked and guilty. Dean pulled him down and pressed a sweet kiss on his lips. 

“No, Cas. Did I hurt you, making my mark?” Cas shook his head slightly. 

“Not really. The pleasure was far greater.” Those blue eyes still looked spooked though. 

“I would never hurt you, Dean. My love.” Dean gulped, trying to keep his eyes from tearing up. 

He roughly pulled Cas flush to his chest, “I know you wouldn't, Cas. It’s ok. This hurt was a good kind.” Cas hummed and relaxed in his embrace. 

“My sweet, innocent angel.” Dean murmured in his hair, pressing a kiss to his temple. Cas’ dark wings folded over them like a blanket and Dean sighed. He didn't even mind that the mood had changed so quickly. He was so screwed. But he loved it. He loved every minute he spent with this beautiful creature. His angel, his Cas, his... love? The thought should scare the living daylights out of him, but it actually made him smile. 

“My love,” Dean whispered, Cas sighed and burrowed down in his arms.


	38. Chapter 38

**May 1St, 2008, some motel in Iowa, just before midnight.**

Dean opened his eyes and stared into the darkness. “You're awake.” 

Smiling, Dean turned to the gravelly voice, “Yes. I am. C’mere. I think some cuddles are just what I need to fall asleep again.” 

Cas chuckled and crawled into bed with him. On the other bed, a pair of golden eyes watched them.

“Don't wake my Shamshine up, you two,” Gabriel said low, but a chuckle told Dean his baby brother was awake. 

“Happy birthday, Sammy.” 

Sam sat up and grinned. “Thanks, De.” 

Gabriel whooped, “Birthday!!! Cake! And ice cream and....” Sam started laughing. 

“Calm your sweet tooth, love. It isn't really my birthday yet. Not until midnight.” Gabe sat up straight and winked at Cas. 

“Just a few more seconds... right, Cassie?” Cas snuggled into Dean’s embrace and nodded. 

Far away a church bell began to ring, and Gabriel made confetti rain down in the room. “Happy birthday, sugar bear!” 

Dean shook his head and smiled. Suddenly a great pressure pushed in on him and he saw Sam grab his head too. A great thunderclap sounded and windows popped like soap bubbles. Just as sudden as it happened, it was gone. 

“What the Hell was that?” Dean gasped, once his ears had cleared. Sam looked around wide-eyed, shards of glass in his hair.

“I don't know...” But Cas and Gabriel looked at each other and nodded simultaneously. 

“That was Mikey. I think he found out the hellhounds are  not dragging your soul downstairs tonight.” Gabriel commented wryly. Sam blanched, then started grinning. 

“That's right... Well, now we know Lucifer was true to his word.” Dean grinned at him. 

“Wonderful! Consider it his birthday present, Sammy.” But the angels were seriously restless. They kept pacing the room nervously.

Suddenly, a bright light glowed in the middle of the room, and Dean saw a familiar figure pop up. 

“Hello, Michael,” he said simply, but with a hint of steel. Sam frowned at him. Then at the guy who stood in the middle of their room, Grace the colour of rainclouds and a frown on his face. 

“Dean Winchester! You are designated to be...” he stated with a stentor's voice, but it bled out when he saw Cas and Gabe. 

Dean got up, and stepped in front of his angel, “I said: Hello, Michael.” Michael gaped at him. Dean had kept his grace cloaked for now. Gabriel had taught him and Sam how to keep it locked away until needed. 

“You can gaze upon my true form! You are my true vessel!” Michael said happily. 

Dean just scoffed, “I don't think so, asshat. One, we don't look alike. You look more like my Dad when he was younger. And two, I will never,  ever say yes to you.” 

Michael’s eyes slid to Cas, and they narrowed. “Did they tell you to reject me? Those renegade angels?” 

Dean stepped into his line of sight again. “Nope. I know what kind of an asshat you are from firsthand experience.” 

Michael looked gobsmacked, “How? We have never met!” 

Dean gave him his best sassy pout, “Yes, we have. Haven’t we, Shamsiël?” 

Michael whirled around, trying to find the third angel. 

Sam got up too and stood next to his brother. “Yes, we have, brother.” 

Michael eyed them both. “He is your brother? Sam Winchester... Shamsiël, if you are in there, you know this isn't your vessel!” 

Sam squared his shoulders and gave Michael one of his prime bitch faces. 

“Yes... and no. Should we play: show and tell, Dean?” Dean grinned, then winked at Cas and Gabe, who had gotten together across the room, ready to enjoy the fireworks. 

“Let’s, Sammy.” They stared straight at the first Archangel and unlocked their grace in unison. 

Michael gaped, “You! You are alive?” 

Dean nodded. “No, thanks to you, you dillweed.” 

Michael’s face darkened, “Diniël, I command you to leave my vessel!” 

Dean laughed at him, “Not your vessel, buttmunch.” 

Michael turned to Sam. “Shamsiël, get out of Lucifer’s true vessel. This is very rude.” 

Sam smirked, “Sorry, Michael. But I can’t.” 

Michael clenched his fists, “You're being very stubborn. But I can work around that...” He glared at them. “OL ALONUSAHI OD ZODAMETA!” 

Dean looked at Sam and they giggled. “I command and conjure thee? Really? Not very original, Mike.” Dean snorted. 

Michael gasped, “That should have expelled you...”

Gabriel shook his head, “Michael...” 

Michael looked lost and his head whirled around, “Gabriel... what is going on? Is this one of your tricks?” 

Gabriel sighed, “I can explain, bro... just hear me out.” 

Michael grabbed a knife from the table, “Not gonna work, bucko. All angels here....” 

Gabriel tried, but Michael grabbed Dean by the arm and sliced across his palm, “We will sort this out. At home!” he snarled and swiftly used the blood that welled up to draw a sigil. 

“Michael... don't be stupid! You don't know it will work!” Gabriel shouted. Dean wrestled and reached for Cas. “Cas! Get over here!” Sam bodyslammed Gabriel just as Michael pressed Dean’s bloody hand on the sigil. A flash of light and Gabriel felt the tug at his grace, demanding him to go home, but the weight of Shamsiël’s grace and body held him grounded. 

Once the light had faded, Sam got up. “Gabe... you ok?” 

Gingerly shaking his head, Gabriel got up too, “I'm still around... Cassie?” 

From under Dean’s wing, a ruffled dark-haired head appeared. “I am ok. What happened?” 

Dean pulled him into a crushing hug. Gabriel eyed the sigil. “Angel banishing blood sigil... Should’ve worked. At least on Cassie and me.” 

Dean nuzzled Castiël's hair, “I figured that asshat would try something like that. And I didn't wanna go.” 

Sam nodded, “Me neither. And I wanted to protect you, Gabe.” 

Gabriel smiled up at him, “Aw, thanks, Sammich... I guess you two are really Free Will personified. Your grace could ignore the sigil’s power because you wanted it. Dear me... what have I created?” 

Dean smirked over Cas’ dark hair, “AWESOME angels, who can tell others to go sit on it and twirl.” 

Gabriel started laughing, “I guess so... So, who’s up for cake and ice cream?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> That's all folks!  
> Thank you all for reading, giving kudos and reviewing!  
> You're all great! Love you all lots and lots!  
> And super, extra special thanks to my AWESOME beta, Nathyfaith. She is the one who made the perfect moodboard at the beginning too. Thank you so, so much dear heart! You are a super amazing person! Love!


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